Yes, it’s creepy, but the Amazon reviews for this “real human rib” are wildly hilarious

Videos by Rare

Videos by Rare

Make no bones about it, buying a human rib (or any other anatomical product) on the internet is pretty shady. The only reasonable explanation for needing to procure a human rib for an anatomy class, and we have to assume that anatomy teachers are going through more legitimate channels than Amazon.

But at only $10, this human rib is a bargain. But from the reviews, it seems that a lot of the people purchasing the rib aren’t actually anatomy teachers. In fact, some of the reviews are downright creepy. Take Tania, who wrote, “I love all things relating to the human body and this was the perfect piece to start my human bone collection.” Abby Jones wrote, “I collect oddities and this is my first human item to be added.”

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But not all of the buyers are people you would hate to have as a neighbor; some of them have senses of humor about the product. Mason wrote that the rib “came in relatively good condition but turned into a live woman after a few days who keeps complaining and trying to feed [him] strange fruit.” Another reviewer couldn’t help but crack a “Hannibal Lecter” joke, claiming (in a review entitled “good with fava beans”), “I used this to make soup which compliments my Chianti very nicely.”

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Joshua wrote a longer account of his struggle to turn the rib into a woman as God did in Genesis 2:22:

After several attempts, I was unable to turn product into a suitable human female companion. Disappointed there were no instructions, as anything already “designed” five thousand years ago should obviously have some kind of manual…perhaps the rib is a female one, though, which would explain my difficulties. But if man rib can be turned into a woman, shouldn’t woman rib turn into a woman? Must consult the first operating manual. I’m currently too far from home, so I’ll go to my nearest hotel and take one from the drawer.

Another user, who gave the product five stars, joked, “I bought the rib last year. But unexpectedly Cher started calling and asking for it back.” But another reviewer had something a bit more practical than black magic in mind, writing, “I broke one of my ribs and I was hoping to replace it with one of these bad boys. Apparently I need my doctorates in order to successfully exchange the broken rib for this certified pre-owned rib with low miles on it […] I recommend do not go on amazon while on pain killers.”

What do you think?

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