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High School Dress Code

A Houston area high school is insisting that when they drag parents from their homes or places of business to pick up their kids because they’re sick or suspended for drawing big giant penises on the homecoming banner that the parents wear something presentable. That’s right parents, when you show up to a parent-teacher conference to have a conversation about why your daughter is failing math your clothes better be as uncomfortable as the conversation will be after you indignantly accuse the teacher of incompetence, and maybe some sort of prejudice based on who they are compared to your kid’s identity.

Principal Carlotta Outley Brown instituted the policy at James Madison High School in south Houston because too many parents were apparently showing up in pajamas and other forms of clothing the administration found inappropriate for the setting. The dress code prohibits parents from wearing satin caps, shower caps, pajamas, revealing clothing, and saggy pants on school grounds.

Give these parents a break, Principal Brown. No one is advocating that someone’s dad should be allowed to roll up to school in assless chaps. The parents are probably showing up because their kid pooped their pants while taking the PSAT or because they got into a fistfight over Juul pods. How much worse do you have to make these parents’ days? Forcing them to put on khakis in order to hear that their son got caught sending pictures of his junk to his girlfriend during class is cruel.

Here’s the letter in full:

James Madison High School P… by on Scribd

Reactions were mixed. The parents think it’s unfair, the students think it’s weird, but according to KHOU 11, the news outlet’s Facebook commenters — whose opinions are literally worthless, as in they have no value whatsoever — are split 50/50.

According to Principal Brown, the primary reason for instituting the dress code is because parents and teachers are supposed to be showing the kids how to become adults, and dressing presentably is part of being an adult. This asinine rule is probably inadvertently a great example of what being an adult entails for the James Madison students. Get ready to be arbitrarily served a whole lot of plates of shit, kids!

Watch: Students in These Texas Schools Free of Lunch Debt After Anonymous Donations

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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