eyelash lice KostaMumcuoglu/Wikimedia Commons
KostaMumcuoglu/Wikimedia Commons

Are you a stylish woman but groom yourself with the diligence and frequency of an unsupervised 14-year-old boy? Bad news! There might be bugs living on your eyes.

Optometrists say they’re seeing an increase in cases of “eyelash lice”, the medical term Demodex, because women aren’t washing their eyelash extensions. It might seem odd that women would risk having tiny little filthy bugs crawling all over their eyeballs but don’t worry there’s a good explanation. They’re afraid that if they wash their eyes while they have eyelash extensions in the extensions will fall out. That is, apparently, a fate worse than having an eyeball infestation. Yes, dead skin cells are actually trending.

(Eyelash extensions retail for about $9 on Amazon, by the way.)

So how can you prevent an infestation on your face if you aspire to the have long full lashes God denied you? Believe it or not you don’t need to use a whole bar of Dial on your naked eyes every time you shower. Just wash with some tea tree oil or a tea tree base cleanser on a daily basis. That’s all, according to eye doctors. It seems pretty excessive that an optometrist needed to tell anyone this. Could fake eyelashes not have been Googled? How did we end up with the only two options for people wearing eyelash extensions being either blast your eyes with cleanser or keep yourself so unwashed that bugs start living along the hair follicles of your eyes?

This is a good rule of thumb everyone should follow by the way. Does something seem weird? Are you experiencing itchiness? Do you not know the answer to a question you have? Do you have any sort of query whatsoever? Pull out the supercomputer you carry around in your pocket or purse and type this thought into the website that can literally answer any question. Better yet, stick to mascara. So much easier than getting face crabs.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on November 15, 2019.


Watch: Women are Gluing Fake Eyelashes on Their Eyebrows and Calling it Fashion

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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