Rob Fox
Your new cheat day is Friday. Or, should we say, Fryday? (We should not. That is dumb. Even if National French Fry Day is on a Friday this year.)
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Still, though, McDonald’s has announced that starting in July (so now, you fools) and through the end of the year, their beloved, glorious french fries will be free every Friday as long as you buy something that costs at least a dollar. So, basically, you hand the cashier a handful of sticky dimes, nickels, and quarters from your car’s center console, and you get free french fries with whatever you got off Mickey D’s value menu.
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“What’s the catch?” you, ever the skeptical and vigilant consumer, ask? Not that much, actually. The fine print is just that you just have to download the McDonald’s app and register for a free account. Then you get free medium fries.
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Is that really that bad? What other app gives you that sort of value? You even get a free hash brown instead of a medium order of free fries if you order a breakfast sandwich. You know you’re not getting that kind of return from Instagram. All you’re getting there is judgment, pity likes, and, probably, exes creeping on you to reaffirm that they’ve won the breakup.
Screw that. Get french fries. You know fried potatoes were more important than your friends and exes.
The free McDonald’s french fries are nice, but personally I am all about the free hash brown. McDonald’s lunch and dinner is just okay, but BAM (Breakfast at McDonald’s)? It is the undisputed champion of fast food breakfast. (FOH Taco Bell). How the McDonald’s McGriddle hasn’t been effectively replicated is beyond me. It’s a pancake sandwich. Who can’t do that!?!
No one, apparently. I’ve tried, and I can’t do it. So I gave up and went to McDonald’s. And now, because I have the mobile app, I can do that and get a free hash brown for my troubles.
Also, pro tip, throw that free hash brown right on your McGriddle. Or whatever breakfast sandwich you buy. (Though, if I’m being honest, you are a boring human if you’re getting a freakin’ Egg McMuffin. To each their own, but… snore.)
So if you like french fries, and you also like free things, start hitting up The Golden Arches on Fridays.
