Have you ever bitten into a pickle and, with annoyed dissatisfaction, thought, “Yo! Why ain’t this green wang jackin’ me up!?!?!” If so, good news! Now your favorite gator knob looking snack can be pumped full of the fuel that makes a Fortnite player both a champion and a diabetic.
Mountain Dew pickles are here to blast a fat load of energy into your dumb, gaping dill hole. Finally, you can get a deli sandwich with a side of Chrystal Meth for Kids. These aren’t your grandfather’s pickles. These are 21st Century energy rods. Little green rocket ships here to help you blast off.
This video from Fun Foods shows how to make these Dewckles.
The Mountain Dew pickle concept is a variation on the (somehow) classic southern food staple Kool-Aid pickles. It’s actually the exact same thing, except with Mountain Dew instead of Kool-Aid. It’s not the most exciting concept, and it seems pretty gross to me, but it’s harmless and some people like weird stuff, so whatever. If someone wants to eat this bizarre pregnancy craving of a snack, go for it.
Soaking pickles in things not related to pickles has become something of a fad lately, actually. There are moonshine pickles, whiskey pickles, vodka pickles, Tabasco pickles, and watermelon pickles just to name a few. Basically, if there is a liquid, pickles can absorb it and create some unholy combination of pickle and whatever liquid you combined it with.
Here are some new pickle ideas just for the hell of it.
- Espresso Shot Pickles – 40 shots of espresso + one jar of pickles = green cocaine.
- Margarita Pickles – whatever, they’re already green.
- Root Beer Pickles – These sound awful, which means someone in Mississippi is guaranteed to love them.
- NyQuil Pickles – Get weird. With Pickles.
- Absynthe Pickles – Slide that Green Fairy inside of you.
- La Croix Pickles – Pickles, but for soccer moms.