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Dirtiest Cities in America

Spoiler Alert: Cities full of hippies smell terrible. That there’s a certain amount of human air pollution from people who don’t bathe probably doesn’t come as a big surprise to anyone. Dirty hippies are dirty. Shocker. Though the least hygienic American cities probably won’t come as much of a surprise, some of the United States’s most hygienic cities are downright unexpected.

Miami, Florida at number one kind of makes sense, if only because the city, while definitely morally filthy, is full of beautiful people who take care of themselves. On the other hand, New Orleans as the number two most hygienic city makes zero sense. My only guess is that the city makes you feel so dirty that if you live there you feel the need to shower at least twice a day. (This comes from a place of love, by the way. New Orleans is a glorious city.)

Detroit and New York City also don’t scream “clean” to me but again, my New Orleans theory may apply to the Motor City and NYC. Meanwhile, either my Miami theory or my New Orleans theory could apply to Los Angeles, California another of the cleanest cities in the U.S.

Seeing San Francisco, Denver, and Seattle among the dirtiest cities in America for hygiene is, as we said, totally unsurprising. Washington D.C. being among the dirtiest U.S. cities isn’t something I’d have guessed but it feels right.

Chicago and Las Vegas being on the dirtier end of the scale are also both surprises, as is Pittsburgh, which I expected to be totally in the middle. You expect to see a Baltimore or Houston, Texas on there for various reasons. Cleveland did better than expected. Maybe Bakersfield wasn’t big enough to be included? I also expected Orlando to be listed as one of the cleanest cities because the whole city seems like it’s only twelve years old.

The study, which was put together by the Quality Logo Products Blog, surveyed 2,700 people throughout metropolitan areas across the country on various hygienic practices, including how often they bathed, brushed their teeth, and changed their underwear. (Answers to the latter will shock and appall you, or not, depending on how much faith you have in humanity.)

Watch: 15 Health Benefits of the Mediterranean Diet, According to Science

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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