Remember that famous New York restaurant owner who banned James Corden from eating there because he supposedly “abused” the staff — but then un-banned him after Corden apologized in public?
Yeah, that guy. Well, now he’s breathed new life into one of the most ridiculous news stories of the year by allowing James Corden eat at the restaurant free.
But only under one condition, of course. (You didn’t think this story would play out so simply, with no hooks attached, did you?)
Balthazar owner Keith McNally continued the ultimately frivolous feud Friday, saying he’ll let Corden eat there for free. Well, for 10 years. And only if he apologizes. Which we all thought he already did. But — no, wait — only if he apologizes personally to the two staffers he allegedly “insulted.”
Ladies and gentlemen, there is a God.
Would You Eat at a Restaurant Run by This Man?
Leave it to the owner of one of the most high-end restaurants in the U.S. to create maybe the best example ever of life imitating imitating complete and utter nonsense. And milk it for all it’s worth, while he’s at it.
McNally’s breathless Instagram message, which he posted Friday, reads as follows (make sure you have a really big, tasty chunk of steak to chew on while you simultaneously savor this master class in self-indulgence):
“STORM IN A RESTAURANT TEACUP,” McNally began. “I’ve no wish to kick a man when he’s down. Especially one who’s worth $100 Million, but when James Corden said in yesterday’s NY Times that he hadn’t done “anything wrong, on any level,” was he joking? Or was he denying being abusive to my servers? Whatever Corden meant, his implication was clear: he didn’t do it.”
He continued: “Although I didn’t witness the incident, lots of my restaurant’s floor staff did. They had nothing to gain by lying. Corden did.”
McNally ended his missive on a graceful — obviously we’re kidding; we mean ingratiating — note.
“I wish James Corden would live up to his Almighty initials and come clean,” the post said. “If the supremely talented actor wants to retrieve the respect he had from all his fans (all 4 of them) before this incident, then he should at least admit he did wrong. If he goes one step further and apologizes to the 2 servers he insulted, I’ll let him eat for free at Balthazar for the next 10 years.”
Got an appetite for petty bourgeois behavior to the nth degree? Hope you still have some room left for dessert.