Luxury Yacht Tester

Do you, like most of us, believe that you should have an impossibly cool job despite being totally unqualified and completely undeserving beyond the idea that, “Hey, I’m me. Why shouldn’t I get stuff.”? Great news, that opportunity has arrived.

If you, like I, could tell the difference between, say, a pontoon boat with a couple treehouses nailed to it and a luxury yacht, but have no real way to differentiate between the subtleties of Luxury Yacht A and Luxury Yacht B… eh, it doesn’t matter. The company Hush Hush might hire you anyway. They aren’t looking for a yacht sommelier, so to speak. Just somebody to live on these yachts for a week and make sure all the power outlets work and that the shower doesn’t suck.

They’re asking you to be a Food Network host, not a New York Times food critic. And it sounds like an incredible gig. Here are the requirements:

  • Be 21 or older.
  • Have a passport.
  • Be ready to travel on short notice throughout the year.
  • Be able to write detailed, high-quality reviews.
  • Serious attention to detail.

You can go apply here. Zero yacht expertise required!

You wouldn’t technically be working for the company Hush Hush. You’d be more like a self-employed freelancer. Still, the job would pay about $1300 per yacht review. There’s potential to review up to fifty yachts a year, which comes out to about a $65,000 per year salary just for making sure that a fancy boat is as fancy as the people who own it claim it is.

And it’s not like you have to give a good review. Feel free to tell Hush Hush that the yacht off the coast of the French Riveria had an absolute garbage champagne fountain, or that the yacht in the Bahamas really didn’t have a single good surface to do cocaine off of. Being specific and doing a good job is what’s important here.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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