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Luxury Yacht Tester

Do you, like most of us, believe that you should have your dream job despite being totally unqualified and completely undeserving beyond the idea that, “Hey, I’m me. Why shouldn’t I get stuff.”? Great news, that opportunity has arrived.

If you, like I, could tell the difference between, say, a pontoon boat with a couple treehouses nailed to it and luxury yacht, but have no real way to differentiate between the subtleties of Luxury Yacht A and Luxury Yacht B… eh, it doesn’t matter. The company Hush Hush might hire you anyway. They aren’t looking for a yacht sommelier, so to speak. Just the right candidate to work as a yacht tester, to live on these yachts for a week and make sure all the plug sockets work and that the shower doesn’t suck.

They don’t have high standards to be a luxury yacht tester. They’re asking you to be a Food Network host, not a New York Times food critic. And it sounds like an incredible gig. Here are the requirements on the job listing:

  • Be 21 or older.
  • Have a passport.
  • Be ready to travel on short notice throughout the year.
  • Have writing skills for high-quality, detailed reviews.
  • Serious attention to detail.

You can go apply here on hushhush.com. It’s a high end site that dabbles in the highest quality of luxury stores. Basically an amazon for millionaires. You can also be a reviewer of a range of luxury products and not just yachts. So zero yachting experience required!

You wouldn’t technically be working for the company Hush Hush full-time. You’d be more like a self-employed freelance yacht reviewer. Still, the job would pay about $1300 per detailed review. There’s potential to review up to fifty yachts a year, which comes out to about a potential annual salary of $65,000 just for making sure that a fancy boat is as fancy as the people who own it claim it is.

And it’s not like you have to give a good review. Feel free to tell Hush Hush that the quality of yachts off the coast of the French Riveria had an absolute garbage champagne fountain, or that the superyacht in the Bahamas really didn’t have a single good surface to do cocaine off of. Being specific and doing a good job is what’s important here.

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Editor’s note: This article was originally published on May 13, 2019.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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