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Internet Obsolete Things

2008 feels like an entire lifetime ago. Back then, Facebook was fun, and the only fake news on it was when one college kid would hijack another college kid’s laptop after they left it open while going to the bathroom and post, “It’s official, I can finally announce that I’m dropping out of school to pursue my dream of traveling the country, going from nursing home to nursing home, and painting nude portraits of World War II veterans.”

Back then, flip phones were still a thing, not everyone could send and receive text messages, the Tampa Bay Rays were in the World Series, and our country’s discourse hadn’t devolved into everyone calling everyone else a Nazi.

Truly, a lifetime ago.

Ever wonder what’s going to be obsolete ten years from now? Maybe smart phones get so advanced most people won’t need traditional computers or laptops. Chances are more and more people will be working from home, or, from anywhere. Self-driving cars, probably? And, God willing, Twitter will have died.

The question was asked on Reddit, recently, and this is what people came up with.

1. Football

Alabama fans are really going to hate watching games of two hand touch in Denny-Bryant. (Just kidding. Football will probably change, but SEC country wouldn’t stop playing the hard hitting iteration of it even if we discovered that doing so makes you a French communist.)

2. Lots of Jobs

Don’t go anywhere near a McDonald’s the day the machines rise.

3. The Greatest Generation

😦

But actually, the last U.S. Civil War veteran died in 1956. The last World War I veteran died in 2012. By that math, the last of the World War II vets will survive until the 2030s or 2040s. Or maybe we’ll have just uploaded some of them into a computer by then.

4. Being PC

Cool cool, because everything I wrote online from 2012 to 2017 makes me pretty unemployable at present.

5. This Guy

Hang in there buddy!

6. Privacy

Based on the ads, I get on Facebook and Instagram this has already happened. I DON’T KNOW WHY THAT MAN THONG AD IS IN MY FEED I CERTAINLY HAVEN’T BEEN PERUSING DONGTHONGS.COM THAT’S FOR SURE!!!!!

7. Office Jobs

Working in gym shorts > not working in gym shorts.

8. Unrestricted Internet Access for Kids

*remembers things I looked up when I was in 8th grade.*

Yes, this is a good idea to do.

9. Everyone’s Favorite Toy Store

To be fair, this is almost gone right now. But in twenty years they’ll bring it back for nostalgia’s sake. It will be a massive failure.

10. Opening Your Phone

This sounds awesome. I want this now.

The future seems like it’ll be okay.

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