Okay, I admit it, sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up with every trend that comes out, beating out the latest dumbest trend that came before that. I mean, it’s exhausting trying to keep up with new terms and ideas that people come up with, that just makes it, well… unnecessary and useless. Like Sologamy. The SADDEST trend you will ever hear in your life.
What is Sologamy, you say? Sologamy is the act of marrying yourself. Yes, this is actually a thing now and single women are marrying themselves. Apparently, bitter and sad feminists with a millennial like-flare for narcissism are basically marrying themselves to prove a point by choosing to put their career ahead of their personal life. WHY IS THIS A THING, PEOPLE!?
I mean, I get it, I do. I also focus on my career more than I should, and it’s okay because I choose to. BUT, I don’t flaunt it around and I still have somewhat of a personal life (when I’m not too tired to leave my house because let’s face it, I’m old. That’s another story though.) and I try to balance it as best as I can. But no…people have to go above and beyond to create what shouldn’t even be a thing.
Basically, the trend focuses on single women who are committing themselves to themselves with their own wedding self-marriage ceremony. These women do the whole “shebang” (by shebang I mean self-wedding) and throw on a white wedding dress, get a fancy wedding cake, invite their family and close friends, and marry themselves in a non-binding way.
The whole concept of self-marriage has gained a weird amount of popularity. It has even managed to spawn a “self-wedding” kit from a website called IMarriedMe.com. The kit includes a single wedding ring, affirmation cards, and vows.
Promoting their affirmation cards, the site reads, “Did you know that micro-moments of positivity add up, creating an upward spiral? Positive mental states can also be enhanced by affirmations and even reshape us over time. A daily practice can help you focus on the good and give you resources when life is tough.”
How much does a kit cost? Well, the higher end self-love kit runs at $230. Capitalism is sure a magical thing.
The trend apparently came from a woman named Linda Baker who was the first person to marry herself in the US back in 1993, as a way to celebrate her 40th birthday. She pledged to be “good to herself”, witnessed by 75 guests and 7 bridesmaids. She wanted to celebrate something at the time in her life and felt that a marriage was the only way to do it. I’m guessing birthday parties are just not enough for some?
The trend then became popular after an episode of Sex and the City aired in 2003, where Carrie Bradshaw played by Sarah Jessica Parker announced she was marrying herself. Her catalyst for the decision was the while she was happy to celebrate her friend’s life choices for getting married, she complained she never celebrating choosing to be single and childless in New York. Cue the solo wedding.
Want to know the craziest part about this? The ceremony isn’t actually legally binding in any way! So basically, it doesn’t prevent a person from getting married to another person in the future. So it’s kind of a, “I am marrying myself until the right man or woman arrives, so I’m gonna love myself first” situation.
Look, I totally get the idea of self-loving and compassion, and learning to love yourself, I do. But marrying yourself to yourself? Am I the only one who thinks this is just bonkers?
Still…if you choose to go through it, can I get an invite to the wedding? I never say no to a free celebration..and I promise to keep my thoughts to myself. Whatever makes you happy, right?