Bryan Cranston Revealed He Lost His Virginity to a Hooker

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Breaking Bad actor Bryan Cranston just revealed that he lost his virginity to a hooker. Cranston was the guest on Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcast when the topic of prostitutes was brought up.

Bryan Cranston Didn’t Think He Had Enough Money for Sex

Conan O’Brien had just joked about how his co-hosts Sona and Matt were “paid to be [his] friends.”

“Like a hooker,” Cranston chimed in.

“It’s the world oldest profession, or so I’m told,” O’Brien said. Getting quiet, he added, “I never had any experience with….” He trailed off.

“You didn’t? I did,” Cranston said.

With that, Conan O’Brien immediately sat up, almost coming back to life, prompting Cranston to continue.

“I was a virgin. And I was traveling with a bunch of friends in Europe. I was 16 years old, and it was the thing to do. And I was actually looking forward to it — and nervous as hell, of course.”

Cranston said he was traveling in Austria with two male friends, both of who were about a year and a half older than him. They decided to go to the Red-Light District in Salzburg. As the three of them walked into the brothel, the Malcom in the Middle actor started to get “cold feet.”

“I said, ‘I don’t think I brought enough money. I don’t think I have enough Austrian francs to make this transaction.” Both of his friends paid their respective sex workers and went upstairs. Meanwhile, Cranston sat down in the foyer alone.

The Austrian Hooker Let 16-Year-Old Cranston Get It, Anyway

But then a woman —who the actor described as older, but he didn’t know how much older —approached him. When he tried to signal to her that he didn’t have any money, she gestured to him to empty his pockets. He handed her some change.

“She grabbed the money and grabbed my hand and said, ‘Aagh,’” Cranston said, tilting his head sideways.

“I went, ‘Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Is this happening. Is this happening. Oh my god oh my god oh my god,’” Cranston continued. He was led to a room with a single bed, a sink, and a trash can and told to take off his clothes while standing up.

“Man, she really sets the mood,” Conan O’Brien quipped, jumping in. “My penis would be up inside my body at this point. It would have retracted into my left lung.”

Cranston continued to follow the hooker’s directions, which were seemingly given via grunts and hand gestures and got onto the bed.

“I was so nervous that I didn’t really feel anything,” he admitted. ”My brain was on fire… At one point, I thought, ‘I should touch her breast.’”

“Just one of them,” Matt joked, as the podcast hosts tried to stifle their laughter.

“It’s like diffusing a bomb,” O’Brien added. “Don’t touch the wrong one.”

“Clip the red wire, not the blue one!” Cranston said. He deserves kudos for his sense of humor in the face of self-deprecation.

However, Cranston Didn’t Pay Enough to Touch the Hooker’s Breasts

The actor said that, after having trouble deciding which breast to touch, he finally picked one. The prostitute immediately slapped his hand away.

“You didn’t pay enough,” said Sona.

“That’s exactly right,” said Cranston.

“You get this McDonald’s meal, but you don’t get the extra-large fries and you don’t get the shake,” O’Brien joked.

“And there’s no prize,” Cranston added.

“Prize” here is contextual because it seems that the “deed was done.”

“It was a traumatic and a great, exhilarating, memorable experience, man,” Cranston concluded. “It was a seminal moment in a person’s life when they lose their virginity… I’ve been going back to Austria ever since.” That last part was a joke.

Of course, this led to O’Brien pulling up an imaginary piece of paper and talking about all the films Brian Cranston has since filmed in Austria. And also, being spotted in the marketplace with a 110-year-old woman.

Prostitution Is the World’s Oldest Profession

While it may be hard to think of Hal Wilkerson from Malcom in the Middle paying a hooker for sex, Cranston has seen quite a few turns around the sun. The 66-year-old actor has also had plenty of time to process his experience, juxtaposed in his memory bank as both “traumatizing” and “exhilarating.”

And for the record, Cranston did win a Tony, a Screen Actors Guild Award, a Satellite Award, a Drama Desk Award, and several nominations including an Emmy and a Golden Globe, for his portrayal of Lyndon B. Johnson. President Johnson was notorious for sneaking around his wife and first lady, Lady Bird. He actually was so adept at it that he devised a secret buzzer system and gave it to his Secret Agents. They would buzz him when his wife was on her way back to the Oval Office.

Brian Cranston is certainly not alone as a man who has paid a hooker for sex. He is, however, refreshingly candid about it.

Prostitution is indeed the oldest profession in the world and dates back to 2400 BCE in Babylonia. According to Bed Bible, about 1 in 10 men in the world have paid a prostitute for sex and that number is rising every year. The top 3 countries for having the most prostitutes are China, India, and the United States. Austria doesn’t appear in the top 29 listed countries, but it is a much smaller and less populated country than the top 3.

But despite its prevalence, sex work is often shrouded in stigma and stereotypes that lead to it being an unsafe environment for many. Sex workers are more prone to violence, being murdered, or contracting an STD such as HIV than any other professional in the world. They are also often in their profession due to human trafficking, and not on their own volition.

Other celebrities who have allegedly been caught with or paying for sex workers include: Charlie Sheen, Hugh Grant, Tiger Woods, Jerry Springer, and Eddie Murphy. But none of those stories came out as a friendly conversation over a podcast. For that, I tip my hat to Brian Cranston’s hooker story.

Read More: Teenage Jason Bateman’s First ‘Tonight Show’ Appearance Was So Cute

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