Aurora Starchild
Have you ever wondered ‘what time is the right time to start acknowledging the next major holiday?’ Have you ever noticed how some major pharmacy chains start stocking up for two holidays in advance? Jimmy Fallon gets it. In fact, he gets it so much that he and Dolly Parton just recorded a new Christmas song together. That Christmas song is called “It’s Almost Too Early For Christmas.”
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It Definitely Is Too Early For Christmas, But Here We Are. Thanks, Jimmy Fallon and Dolly Parton.
On his special Halloween show the other night, Fallon made the song announcement while sitting at his desk. That desk was covered in Halloween decorations. Because it was Halloween, right?
“Last year, I released a holiday song with Ariana Grande and Megan Thee Stallion. And I wanted to keep that tradition going. So, I’m announcing that I’m releasing another holiday song this year.” He pulls out a vinyl record and continues.
“And I—I thought what better day to announce it than Halloween. People have that debate. After Thanksgiving, people have the debate. They go, ‘can we listen to holiday music? Can we listen to Christmas music? Is it too early? Can we put on Mariah Carey now?’ I say, yeah, if it’s good, you should be able to. So, I thought it would be kind of fun if I put out a song and released it around Halloween for the holidays.”
Announcing legend Dolly Parton as the other artist on the duet and calling her “one of my favorite people of all time,” Fallon shows the record cover. It’s an adorable cartoon depiction of the two of them holding hands and wearing Christmas clothes. Beside them is a Jack-o-Lantern wearing a Christmas hat.
Fallon didn’t play the entire song but what we heard of “It’s Almost Too Early For Christmas” starts like this:
Dolly: “It’s almost too early for Christmas.”
Fallon: “Too soon to be singing this song.”
Dolly: “There’s still Halloween decorations.”
Fallon: “And haters will say that it’s wrong.”
Dolly: “Let’s turn on the lights for Mariah.”
Fallon: “Tell Rudolph to shine up his nose.”
Together: “It’s almost too early for Christmas,
But why don’t we see how it goes.”
While Fallon did keep playing his new song, it’s hard to hear over the raucous. Because right after that last line, the entire audience started getting bombarded with toilet paper rolls. The song will come out this Friday.
Last Year’s Christmas Song Was Amazing
Last year, Jimmy Fallon’s song with Ariana Grande and Megan Thee Stallion was hilarious. It came out as a music video, so we can only hope that his and Dolly’s will, too. That song was called, “It Was a…. (Masked Christmas).”
The video features very 90s images of ski suits, shoulder shrugging, and the sound includes lots of synthesizers. The lyrics are an homage to the excruciating universal pain of experiencing yet another Christmas season in a Covid world.
The lyrics include, “We hopped on a Zoom (hopped on a Zoom)
I can only get Wi-Fi in the laundry room (laundry room)
Chorus:
It was a masked Christmas, we stayed in the house
Lyrics from “It Was a… (Masked Christmas)”
We covered our nose and covered our mouth
But it’s Christmastime
We’ll be in line for a booster (for a booster)
It was a masked Christmas
We hopped on a Zoom (hopped on a Zoom)
I can only get Wi-Fi in the laundry room (laundry room)
But it’s Christmastime
We’ll be in line for a booster.
Yep, we can all feel that.
Jimmy Fallon’s Immense Talent For Producing Music Videos Is So Obvious, It’s Painful
One of Fallon’s tremendous gifts to the world seems to be stating the painfully obvious about the obviously painful. He can take any cliché, trend, or universal irk and turn it into art. Take his music video with Jane Fonda as an example. That one was called “Coastal Grandma,” which was all about the big summer 2022 “trend” of grandmas who live on coasts.
“Everybody’s talking about it,” said Fallon. “You got grandmas in Monterrey, grandmas in the Hamptons, Cape Cod. I’m talking floppy hats, linen outfits, giant sunglasses. It is the biggest thing. In fact, it is the hottest song in the world right now and we’re about to debut the music video.”
Statement Necklace, floppy hat
Breeze in your linen pants, ain’t nothing wrong with that
(Nothing wrong with that!)
Your gardening gloves just drive me crazy
Only you could wear 18 shades of beige and navy
Open concept kitchen, sensible shoes
Divorce your husband, then binge The View
Go to the beach and put some shells in a jar
Then put it in the bathroom near the towel bar Coastal Grandma
Lyrics from “Coastal Grandma”
We love it and cannot wait until Friday. Bring it on, Jimmy and Dolly!
