Aurora Starchild
Prince Harry has been opening up in a way that the world has never witnessed from a member of the British Royal family. He’s the name on everyone’s mind after standing up to his family about racism, speaking up about the media, and publishing a shocking memoir. And during a virtual interview about his memoir, Spare, he’s now saying that his wife Meghan Markle “saved him” from an otherwise sheltered life.
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Prince Harry’s Conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté
Prince Harry was speaking to Dr. Gabor Maté, author of The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture.
“My wife saved me. I was stuck in this world, and she was from a different world and helped draw me out of that,” said the Duke of Sussex (via People). “But none of the elements of my life now would have been possible without me seeing it for myself… My partner is an exceptional human being and I’m eternally grateful for the wisdom and the space that she has been able to give me.”
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle began dating in 2016. Prior to their meeting, he seemed to certainly be struggling with the concept of carrying on a “straight edge” life as is expected by a Royal. He lost his virginity in a field behind a bar at age 17 and seemed to party quite a bit. Even in 2016, he’d “gobbled several” psychedelic mushrooms at a house party and heard a toilet talking to him. Harry told Dr. Maté (who diagnosed him with ADD) that he used marijuana and other drugs to self-treat his mental states.
Harry Had a Special Bond with His Mother, Princess Diana, and Is Still Processing Her Death
Maybe Harry was just trying to experiment like any member of the proletariat, or maybe he was running away from the discomfort of his overly scrutinized yet privileged situation. After all, the late Princess Diana wasn’t just an icon because she was a princess. She was a trailblazer, an advocate for mental health, she spoke out against the paparazzi. And, like Meghan she was “technically” a commoner, but that’s a whole different story. Just as Meghan is a Hollywood star, Diana’s family were still aristocrats.
Between all that Diana was, the media gossip about Prince Charles and his affair with Camilla, and the tragic car crash that ended the Princess’s life far too soon, Harry has had a lot to process. And then his memoir’s title, “Spare,” references the fact that he is, according to royal tradition, a “spare.” He’s not in line to inherit the throne because his older brother William is. So, what, exactly is Harry’s purpose? This is a question that most people have to grapple with at some point in their lives. However, we don’t have an incessant paparazzi hounding us asking us this question, too.
“Certainly throughout my life, throughout my younger years, I always felt slightly different to the rest of my family,” Harry told Maté. “I felt strange being in this container, and I know that my mum felt the same. It makes sense to me — it didn’t make sense at the time — I felt as though my body was in there, but my head was out, but sometimes it was vice-versa.”
Meghan Markle Helped Harry Find His “Authentic Self” Through Her Love and Wisdom
“The times that I ventured towards being myself, being my authentic true self, whether it was through media or family or whatever it was, it was almost like, ‘Don’t be yourself, come back to what you’re expected to be,’ if that makes sense,” Harry said.
Prince Harry also opened up about dating a woman of color. He spoke of how that opened his eyes to his own inherent as well as structural racism. He said it was like a “crash course,” essentially admitting that he still has much to learn.
“I think what people perhaps don’t understand is the pain that it causes to an individual is huge, but then the pain that it causes to society is immense,” Harry told Maté.
The topic of racism is a bit of a fresh wound for Harry and Meghan. But perhaps it’s one that needed to be opened. They were indeed the ones who brought awareness of white hegemony to the British Royal Family. But instead of being held and understood, they were further ostracized. Racism in fact, was likely one of the catalyzing factors that drove the couple to ditch their royal lifestyles. Then they moved to California.
“In this family, sometimes you are part of the problem rather than part of the solution. There is a huge level of unconscious bias,” the Duke of Sussex said in their Netflix series Harry and Meghan. “The thing with unconscious bias, it is actually no one’s fault. But once it has been pointed out, or identified within yourself you then need to make it right.”
