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A man was arrested by New Hampshire police after a video leaked showing him putting his toddler inside a mall’s claw machine game to steal prizes. Anthony Helinski, a 34-year-old teacher from Massachusets, was arrested for his life hack after police received several tips that someone had figured out the perfect way to beat the carnie trickery of a claw machine.

Helinski can be seen pulling his young daughter out of the KeyMaster game after she hands out several prizes. Another kid is standing next to Helinski and literally celebrating that their “plan” worked. Helinski was arrested and suspended indefinitely from teaching at Doherty Middle School while the investigation continues. He was charged with three counts of theft, two counts of criminal trespass and one count of endangering the welfare of a child.

Screw the police, screw the haters, and screw that school. This is a cool dad doing cool dad stuff. He’s teaching his kids a valuable lesson here, and that lesson is that their dad is dope. I don’t want to get all political but maybe if we paid teachers more they wouldn’t have to resort to using their toddlers for theft in order to get their kids presents. Ever think of that, society?

This man’s only crime is beating the system. It’s like a casino being mad at a genius for being able to count cards. What? You want him to purposely suck so that you can have more money? Get out of here with that crap. Well, I hope this man beats the system again and gets off with nothing. And then gets his job back. And then all the kids he teaches are like, “Wow Mr. Helinski you’re the coolest.” And then they respect him more and listen intently to him and, ultimately, leave the school smarter than they could’ve hoped for before.

Anthony Helinski did nothing wrong.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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