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VR Porn Florida Library Twitter

A Florida teenager was recently shushed by a librarian but he probably wishes she had just killed him instead. The kid was watching virtual reality porn in the public library. At a table. Out in the open. That sounds egregiously conspicuous, but the way VR works, with its strap on (phrasing intended) goggles, only the kid could see what was playing. So everything was good then, right? Very much no.

The kid didn’t plug his headphones in, so the sex noises from his boner’s virtual playground were blasting through the library. And, my God, were there sex noises. Moaning. Grunting. Skin slapping and flapping. General sounds of friction and moisture. It was a real symphony of doing it.

Was that air boob grab the funniest thing you’ve ever seen? I bet you think it’s up there, don’t you? You probably think that it won’t be topped for a while. Certainly not today. GUESS AGAIN. There’s also a video of the kid being informed by the librarian of what’s just happened and, fair warning here, you’re going to need to watch this in a place where it’s appropriate to laugh uncontrollably for five-ish minutes, because the kid’s reaction is exactly what you’d expect from an awkward teenager who has just been informed that his pornography has been playing loudly in the library while dozens of people watched and laughed.

Being a teenaged boy is so painfully awkward. Every day is filled with shameful choices and astoundingly dumb decisions. But, as a former teenaged boy, I can confidently say that it’s like 90% self-inflicted. It’s really the explosion of hormones that are to blame, but that’s like saying you did something dumb because you were drunk. Yes, it’s a valid excuse… to a point. Openly watching porn in a public library goes a little beyond that.

Watch: HITTING THE FLORIDA KEYS FOR SOME EPIC FISHING

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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