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Old Woman Bat Florida Man Facebook/14 News
Facebook/14 News

An almost entirely naked Florida man was attempting to break into a car when the owner of that car stepped out of her apartment door to see what all the noise was from. The Florida man turned and assumed he could easily handle the person standing before him — a confused old woman.

Moments later the mostly naked man left the scene of his attempted burglary bleeding, embarrassed, still pretty much naked. 5’6, 300-pound Antonio Mosely had charged the old woman without realizing that she was holding a metal baseball bat, or knowing that she was a pretty good softball player in her day. But oh did Clarese Gainey know how to handle that bat. She swung, connected, and drove off the offensive lineman-sized attacker.

You should listen to Gainey tell the story. No, really. You should. It’s wonderful. It will make your day.

Police say after receiving his well-deserved beating from the old woman he attempted to attack, Mosely fled to a nearby mobile home, where he put on some pants, put some cocaine in the pocket of those pants, and was then arrested.

Mosely was booked into the Alachua County Jail, booked on charges of burglary and drug possession.

Gainey told the news that Mosely was lucky she didn’t have a gun, because she would’ve shot him, but then added that really, she was much deadlier with the bat anyway. She called the bat her gun. (On a related note, I’ve never been more depressed that a person didn’t own a doorbell camera.)

So let it known, residents of Gainesville, Florida, that if you attempt to rob, hurt, or otherwise wrong Ms. Clarese Gainey there will be a well-swung metal baseball bat waiting for you. And she can switch hit.

This post was originally published on April 17, 2019.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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