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McDonalds Man Fights Woman Twitter/@ATLBlackStar

A Florida man whose need for a plastic straw apparently outweighed his need to not be punched in the face and to later not go to jail ultimately got punched in the face and went to jail after assaulting a female McDonald’s employee over the lack of plastic straws in the St. Petersburg, Florida McDonald’s location where she works.

The incident began when the man, Daniel Taylor, confronted a female McDonald’s employee over the store’s lack of straws. The cashier informed Taylor that the store didn’t have plastic straws anymore because of a law passed by the city. Taylor angrily responded that there wasn’t a law against plastic straws. From there things quickly went from profane to violent. Over straws.

Taylor reached across the counter and grabbed the woman, and was immediately met with a flurry of instant regrets in the form of a dozen well-deserved punches. Fellow customer Brenda Biandudi caught the straw brawl on video.

Though the McDonald’s worker readjusted Taylor’s face, his straw-centric priorities, somehow, remained intact. He kept berating the woman, demanding she be fired, and screaming profanities at any employee within earshot. Finally, he was thrown out of the restaurant. Police arrived a short time later after Taylor had left.

On Sunday, police finally found and arrested Daniel Taylor. He was charged with two counts of simple battery and ordered to stay away from the McDonald’s where the incident occurred. In the meantime, Taylor is awaiting trial in the Pinellas County Jail. Over straws.

Stop assaulting fast food workers, you lunatics. Your beef with them is, almost certainly, over something that is worth less than ten dollars, if not less than one dollar. You want to go viral and go to jail over a Happy Meal toy? There has never in the history of Earth been a burger worth getting your ass kicked over.

Watch: McDonald’s Worker Body-Slams Customer in Crazy Fight Video

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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