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southcarolinamompourwaterbaby Sumter County Sheriff's Office

A Meredith, South Carolina mother who decided her infant child needed some well-deserved payback for the crime of being an infant child snuck up on the sleeping baby and, while filming herself (because of course), poured water on the baby’s face.

Caitlyn Alyse Hardy, 33, posted the video of the infant waterboarding to her Facebook page with the caption, “Payback for waking me up all kinda times of da night,” according to the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office.

The video, which is exactly as horrible as you’d assume a video of someone waterboarding a baby would be, shows Hardy pour water on the baby, which immediately wakes up coughing and crying. Not satisfied that the 9-month-old incapable of making memories has learned its lesson yet, Hardy — now laughing — pours water on the baby’s face again, causing it to cough and cry more.

Unfortunately for Hardy but fortunately for the innocent baby being tortured, the video didn’t get as many likes and lolz as Hardy had anticipated. Instead, a couple people decided to call the police. (Because, again, a baby was being waterboarded.)

The Sumter County Sheriff’s Office then issued a warrant for Hardy’s arrest for her “ill-treatment” of the baby girl, which they say caused “unnecessary pain and suffering.”

To be fair to Hardy, though, who hasn’t been tempted to put two fingers down their throat and vomit on a baby after it vomits on you? Who among us hasn’t been tempted to take a runny dump on a baby’s favorite pants after that baby’s diaper leaked on us? Honestly, who hasn’t taken a big cup of juice and just spilled the shit out of it all over a baby’s Speak n’ Spell after they did the same to your laptop?

None of us. None of us have done that because only an idiot or a psycho would take revenge on a baby.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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