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New McDonald's Breakfast Sandwich McDonald's

You’re halfway through eating some greasy sausage patties and cheese wedged between two syrup-infused pancakes that have been used to replace what would normally be bread slices or two halves of a biscuit. There’s a freshly fried hashbrown the size of your hand waiting on your tray. Does the thought, “This will not satisfy me,” cross your mind?

Good news if it does! There’s no longer a need to do a walk of shame back up to the counter at McDonald’s and order another breakfast sandwich. Now you can have all the fixings of three McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches shoved into one. Shoved in real nice. For the first time in five years, McDonald’s has added a new menu item to their breakfast menu and it’s a beast. The Triple Breakfast Stack is here and ready to have you prolapsing into the work toilet before noon.

The idea behind the new Triple Breakfast Stack is simple. There wasn’t enough shit in McDonald’s current lineup of breakfast sandwiches, so McDonald’s was like, “Yo we gotta put some more shit in this shit” and a new breakfast sandwich was born. A fast food legend. Check out what’s on this monster.

– Two hot sausage patties. Hot and lubed up with sausage grease. Ready to slide right into your mouth hole.
– A thick slab of applewood smoked bacon because choosing between sausage or bacon for breakfast is for poor communists.
– An egg, which on this sandwich is basically a vegetable and really only there to legally qualify this as breakfast.
– Two slices of American cheese. All nice and melted. Like a meat goo. Take that goo. You like it.

Then you can decide if you want to put this hot, sexy mess between a moist, buttery biscuit, McGriddle pancakes, or a bitch ass McMuffin.

So grab one of these bad boys in the morning, unhinge your jaw, jam it down your throat, and then go and find some beta male eating avocado toast and murder him.

Watch: How Many of These 10 McDonald’s Secret Menu Items Have You Tried?

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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