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If you feel like ruining a friendship there’s a place that will send a clown that looks like it crawled out of hell to deliver donuts to your friend’s front door. All 19 locations of Hurts Donuts will send a scary clown to whomever you instruct them to with a box full of donuts and a face that will haunt their nightmares forever. (We do not recommend doing this if your friend is a Coulrophobic gun owner.)
Hurts posted about their special on Facebook. All through the month of October, you can enlist the donut shop to show up wherever and give someone a panic attack (and then donuts).
Unfortunately you can only terrorize your friends if you live in a city with a Hurts Donut location. Otherwise you’ll just have to stop their heart with donuts the old-fashioned way: by having your friend eat them.
- Springfield, MO
- Wichita, KS
- Norman, OK
- Coralville, IA
- Lincoln, NE
- Middleton, WI
- West Des Moines, IA
- Joplin, MO
- Tempe, AZ
- Tulsa, OK
- Fayetteville, AR
- Katy, TX
- Branson, MO
- Frisco, TX
- Oklahoma City, OK
- Colorado City, CO
- Kansas City, MO
If I had kids I’d order this to my own house just to scare the hell out of them, though turning donuts into a PTSD trigger might prove to be an issue in the future. More restaurants should do this though. Maybe a Pizza Hut driver shows up with a knife in their chest, or the Chinese food delivery guy is a zombie. Every Uber Eats driver should dress like their area’s most wanted violent criminal. A Papa John’s driver can just be a Papa John’s driver, but then they tell you, “Oh no I forgot the garlic dipping sauce.” (The most terrifying possibility of all.) There’s so much possibility here.
