Uh, well this is a new one. Lawrence County, Tennessee has come out with an…let’s say “atypical warning” about the dangers of trying to flush away any drugs as evidence. Because apparently a lot of people in North Alabama are doing it, which is why the drug bust announcement was created in the first place.
The warning stemmed from a drug arrest in Loretto this week. Police stated that when they went to a residence after gaining a search warrant, suspect Andy Perry tried to flush several grams of methamphetamine and several items of paraphernalia. Obviously, his master plan failed and he was arrested for drug possession and with tampering with evidence.
Attack of the Gators
— Complex (@Complex) July 15, 2019
Trying to find the humor in the situation, the Loretto police department released a Facebook post warning to residents, saying that when you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in their retention ponds before it sends down stream. Why is that a problem? Well, according to police, this creates “Alabama Meth Gators.”
Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, what do you mean “methed up animals.” Well, surprisingly enough, there have been a lot of methed up animal stories lately. Just last month, Limestone county saw an “attack squirrel” case that made heavy headlines across the country. Mickey Paulk allegedly fed his pet squirrel meat to “make it more aggressive. Now, why this man decided to feed a SQUIRREL meth is still unknown, but my bet is that he himself was on meth and was bored so he wanted company. That or he’s just plain crazy.
But, that was a harmless squirrel. Sure, it can maybe scratch you a few times, but nothing too bad. But a gator on meth? Yeah, that’s a no from me. Alligators are scary enough. Please don’t flush methamphetamine down the toilet.
Editors Note: This article was originally published on July 15, 2019.