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You'll Shoot Your Eye Out YouTube

A Christmas Story stories are really going around this holiday season — do you people not watch TNT!?! — though the latest one isn’t really entertaining so much as it is tragic. A little boy in the United Kingdom lost an eye to a toy gun.

9-year-old Taylor-Jay Ravicini, who was already blind in the eye from being shot by a toy bow and arrow when he was three (oof), was recently shot in the same eye, again. This time, the entire eye had to be removed before the increasing pressure from the injury threatened the eyesight in his other eye.

Kids, man. They get hurt in messed up, insane ways. True story: I once stapled my thumbs together. On purpose. Why? Why not. I was five. YOLO. I was talking with my friend who has a four-year-old son the other day. The kid is my Godson and I was at Target shopping for a Christmas present for him. The toy section had an entire aisle — an entire arsenal — of Nerf guns. Just absolutely lethal looking bastards. Machine guns, sniper rifles, pistols. Truly, I was jealous. Nerf firearm technology is way better than when I was a kid. You could easily waste, I don’t know, a squirrel(?) with one of those things.

I mentioned this to my friend, who agree wholeheartedly, but added that I should absolutely not buy one of those guns for his kid. Apparently, the kid already has a couple of Nerf guns and his favorite thing to do is shoot people in the face with them. Why? Why not. YOLO.

My friend said that his kid also enjoys shooting the dog, which pisses off the dog to no end. Then the dog, understanding that the little suction cupped Nerf bullets are the cause of its torment, eats said Nerf bullets to deprive the child of ammo to shoot it with. Then the dog painfully craps out Nerf bullets the next day.

It’s a real situation.

The aforementioned little boy who lost his eye now, according to his mother, has to deal with bullying and teasing at school over his injury. And that sucks. One of the most backward things about kids is that they, by and large, just inherently learn to be funny before they learn empathy, tact, or anything else that comes with maturity. With that comes lots of teasing and general meanness. Be nice, you little assholes!

Watch: 18 VALID REASONS WHY I CARRY A GUN

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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