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Child Rampage Australia Facebook/9 News Gold Coast
Facebook/9 News Gold Coast

I don’t know why but this is the funniest video I’ve watched in a long time. It’s toothless anarchy. A breeze wishing it was a tornado and rudely making its desire known to the world. Two harmless little girls trying their best to be bad and succeeding adorably.

Basically what happened was two Australian girls were at the mall and decided to say screw it and do whatever the hell they wanted, the comfort, space, and property of everyone else be damned. But since they had no weapons and were surrounded by much stronger and smarter adults their ability to do any real damage was minimal. Which… thank God. These two little girls come off as a couple of Slender Man types — definitely do not leave your child alone with them. The version of the doctor they play is likely very real.

How many Mountain Dews did these girls drink? Were they railing Pixie Sticks before they started their little crime spree?

According to reports the girls spit in an old lady’s face, had cigarettes, fought each other over their scooter, screamed at shoppers, and kicked security. Eventually, the police were called and the girls were arrested. Presumably (hopefully) they went home to an absolutely brutal punishment. Grounded for eternity, no sweets again ever, no internet or TV. Nothing. It’s a life of solitary confinement until they’re old enough to go to college, basically.

What do you even say to your kids when they do something like that? Is there anything reasoned or coherent that would work? You have to just scream with pure rage and fury until they’re so scared they never act that insane, right? This will all be a funny story someday, but for now, these girls are pretty much dead.

Watch: Four Spring Breakers Fight Off Armed Would-Be Mugger at Gas Station

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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