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Herpes Kills Babies

Being killed by herpes feels like something that should happen to Harvey Weinstein, not a baby. But, alas, children under six months old are incredibly susceptible to the virus and, as one unfortunate mother found out, the results can be terrifying.

32-year-old Pennsylvania mother Stephanie Shady is warning parents about the dangers of their children coming into contact with the virus after her six-month-old baby was kissed by someone with a cold sore and subsequently broke out in herpes sores all over his face. Fortunately, the child was treated in time but according to experts one in three babies under six months old that are exposed to the herpes virus end up dying. This is in large part because their immune systems are not yet well-developed.

Shady advised people to be careful who touches and kisses your children because you never know what they might have.

A few observations:

1. If I had a child, and they somehow came into contact with herpes and, God forbid, died from it. Like, right now. I’d legitimately lie about it. When people later said something like, “Oh your little boy died in the spring of 2020, so horrible. Was it Coronavirus?” I’d be like, “Uh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Coronavirus. I definitely didn’t let an acquaintance with mouth herpes kiss my baby. Grr. Damn pandemic.”

Even if I knew that the person asking me about it had a kid and it could help them prevent the same fate, I’d be too ashamed to tell anyone. What I’m trying to say is, Stephanie Shady is a much better person than me.

2. You: Hey, don’t let someone with a cold sore ever kiss your baby.

New Parent: I mean, well, yeah. Duh.

You: No, seriously Like, really really really don’t let someone with a cold sore kiss your baby.

New Parent: Why would I?!?

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You: If you see someone with cold sore coming near your baby get back in your car and run them over.

Watch: Population of Aggressive Monkeys Carrying Deadly Strain of Herpes Doubling in Florida

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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