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Florida Man Bicycle Faceplant Instagram/@KolHaolam
Instagram/@KolHaolam

Do or do not. There is no try. We can put this guy solidly in the “do not” camp considering he pretty obviously did not succeed in escaping the police on his bicycle in Largo, Florida. Maybe he still deserves a little bit of credit for trying though. It takes a stupidly optimistic criminal to try to outrun a police cruiser on his bike with a basket.

You have to wonder, what’d this guy do that he was willing to take a mean tasering and some resisting arrest charges instead of simply eating shit and taking whatever charge he was already facing? If the cops are after you for murder or some serious drug smuggling charges then sure, what’s a resisting arrest charge to you? Roll the dice. But if all this guy had was just enough to meth to clean your kitchen then there doesn’t really seem like much of a point.

Is this really worth wrecking your face and getting electrocuted over? Just a little meth or whatever the hell they were chasing you for? Probably not but oh well. Live and learn. Hopefully, the lesson here is, “Don’t do something conspicuously illegal, flee the police on a bike with a basket, and then try to hop a curb.” And onto grass no less. This guy severely underestimated the mobility of a car and overestimated the mobility of a bicycle. Tragic.

Next time rent one of those E-scooters. Those puppies get up to 20 MPH. I bet under the right circumstances you could give a cop the slip on one of those bad boys. Take it through a long public park with narrow running trails and multiple exits and boom, you’re home free to get all kinds of weird.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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