One would think, in regards to trendy video challenges done primarily by kids #forthelikes and an outside shot at viral glory, that there would be some sort of linear progression for the amount of pain and indignity they would be required to suffer in order to get people to watch. Why stick your hand in the garbage disposal when drinking a whole bottle of really spicy hot sauce will suffice? Linear progression can’t be what’s happening though, because if it is, how are we already at pouring boiling water on each other?
The internet moves fast, sure, but we aren’t that far removed from the Cinnamon Challenge. A few steps were almost certainly skipped if kids are already so far past eating too much seasoning that they’re straight up melting their faces off with pots of scalding water. So then, it seems like these challenges aren’t the product of never ending oneupmanship so much as they are a random spin of a Japanese gameshow wheel.
“Sorry, looks like you got knife enema.”
“Damn! I was really hoping for snorting a line of black pepper. Whelp, let’s go get some gauze…”
One of the most recent challenges gaining popularity is the “Hot Water Challenge.” It’s exactly what it sounds like. Kids throw boiling hot water on each other or their friends. Here’s a Spanish Inquisition-esque highlight reel!
Yeah, so, it seems like that little girl at the start of the video didn’t so much attempt a hot water challenge as she did assault someone.
Speaking of assault, here’s Kyland Clark of Indianapolis, Indiana. At a sleepover, his friend poured boiling hot water on him while he was asleep. Spoiler alert: his face now has less skin than it used to.
You can also drink the boiling water if you don’t have a nearby innocent bystander to torture. If you’re really set on doing one of those two things, I guess go with the former, but really just don’t do either.
The most stunning part of this might just be how uncreative it is. Coming up with trying to eat 30 saltines or take down a mouthful of cinnamon at least required a little bit of creativity to dream up. Throwing boiling hot water on people is plain lazy. It feels like we’re only a year away from just, I don’t know, shooting people?
*A 16-year-old films himself on his phone as he drives his car*
“What’s up, guys? I’m Peter. Subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Insta. At Aw Yeet Yeet MF. So my friend Grayson is out walking his dog right now and he’s been having a bad day. He was being all whiny and shit in school. Little does he know his day is about to get REAL exciting.
*shoots Peter five times.*
“You just got GOT! HASHTAG DRIVE BY CHALLENGE FOLLOW ME AW YEET YEET MF. SMASH SUBSCRIBE!!!!”
Ugh. Just eat weird foods or whatever, you idiots.
This post was originally published on December 25, 2018.