Matt Stonie is a trash compacter of a human being, taking down 13 slices, or more than 5,000 calories, worth of cheesecake in 60 seconds. In the competitive eating circuit, that’s what you call going beast mode. He nommed through those slices like he was at war with dessert foods and left one hapless survivor to go back to his dessert allies and warn them of the utter desolation.
And before you look at this and say, “Oh, it’s only cheesecake. I could do this no problem,” you’re wrong. You’re just flat out wrong. You’re no Matt Stonie, so don’t even try, because the Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have time to clean up your vomit.