If you’re a man like me, you love explosions. All men do. Nothing’s quite like the feeling that comes with seeing something intact, and then making it un-intact really fast. Bonus points for when pillars of fire are launched into the air and something hilariously hits your buddy in the head.
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Well, men of all ages, we’re in luck this summer – director Christopher Nolan is giving us the biggest explosion ever on July 21st when his absolutely fantastic new movie Oppenheimer debuts in theaters!
That’s right, gentlemen – we’re getting the atom bomb! I haven’t even seen the movie, but something like the atom bomb is going to have you rushing home to make your own. Forget that finger you blew off with an M-80 a week ago, this movie will have you wanting to blow off your entire hand.
But Oppenheimer is much more than that – it’s a war movie, too! We get stern-faced men looking decisive in their awesome WW2 “pink and greens” and shouting about “dammit get the mission done” while smoking cigarettes with complete disregard for either Nazis or lung cancer. You just know somebody’s getting drunk and punched in the face right before he has a moment of genius inspiration that saves the day while stumbling back home from the bar.
Women will appreciate the struggles experienced by these notable figures within their personal relationships.
But Oppenheimer isn’t the only gem we men get this summer! We get Napoleon, too! And unlike those science incels in Oppenheimer, we get Men in this movie. And it’s not those Frenchmen who’re sipping wine while watching their culture get burned to the ground for diversity’s sake. We get Real Men. We’re getting Frenchmen who sprinted across Europe slapping faces and shouting “Vive la France!” until God had to freeze them to death in Moscow because His creation was never meant to endure so much testosterone.
It’s going to be a great summer, gentlemen, so get ready for things to blow up!