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South Carolina Woman Killed In Alligator Attack While Protecting Dog

A Florida teenager was out with his mother and two dogs in Charlotte County when he was attacked by a 10-foot alligator near the pond they were walking along.

The boy, who was not identified, was allegedly splashing around the edge of the pond in Placida, Florida when the giant gator popped out of the water and bit him on his hand and leg.

Florida Fish and Wildlife called in trappers and the gator, which now has a taste for the boy, was moved to an alligator farm in Glades County.

The boy suffered an open fracture to the leg, though authorities say the injury, while severe, is not life-threatening.

The FWC has warned that alligator and human interaction has become more frequent in recent years. Alligators live in all 67 Florida counties.

A couple thoughts:

1. I hope this boy recovers and I feel bad because he’s a kid but… man, who in Florida doesn’t know not to splash around in ponds!?!?!?!?! You just have to assume there’s a gator in every body of freshwater you come across in that state. See a puddle after a rainstorm? There’s a Goddamn alligator in it. Do NOT put on your rain boots and splash around in it. You will die.

2. More than the boy, though, how does the Florida mom not let this happen? My mom would get pissed at me for not wearing a helmet while riding a bike as a kid, and I wasn’t even usually drunk when I was doing it.

How was this mom like, “Oh that’s my precocious Jaxxyn. He just loves water?” instead of, “THERE ARE HUNGRY DINOSAURS IN THERE GET OUT YOU IDIOT! I AM NOT WASTING MY SWEET, SWEET CORONAVIRUS CHECK ON A CHILD’S CASKET!”

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3. At least the gator didn’t get the dogs. Those dogs would be dead. I’d take a chomp to the leg to save my dumb, tiny, very swallowable dogs.

Watch: Family Dog Caught Pooping in Toddler’s Toilet at Night

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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