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McKay's Markets YouTube/Royal Star Promotions
YouTube/Royal Star Promotions

An Oregon man is lucky to be alive after a one-man gun show at the local supermarket went horribly wrong and nearly cost him his genitals and also his life.

29-year-old Nicholas J. Ellingford was showing off his gun and how cool it was (or something) in line at a McKay’s Market grocery store in Lincoln City, Oregon — the perfect place to let people know that you’re strapped just for the fun of it — when, upon putting the 9mm Glock back into the waistband of his pants (as a responsible gun owner does) he accidentally pulled the trigger of the gun and shot himself square in the groin.

The bullet that Ellingford put inside himself entered his body through his groin and exited through the thigh, narrowly missing his femoral artery. (Had the bullet hit that artery he likely would have died. Quickly.)

Ellingford, who does not have a concealed handgun license, was taken to an area hospital first and then flown to Legacy Emanuel Medical Center Portland because of the severity of his self-inflicted wound.

A couple thoughts:

1. You want to know what the best way to own a gun — a perfectly valid and reasonable thing to do — is? It’s an even quieter take on Teddy Roosevelt’s “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Instead of speaking softly just don’t speak at all. Just carry that big stick and be self-assured in the fact that you’re carrying it.

If you’re a gun hobbyist and have something cool to show off on social media that’s one thing. But generally, the best gun owners are the ones who don’t have to talk about it or show it off (unless they need to, which, I assume, Ellingford did not need to given the fact that he was in line at a supermarket).

2. If you’re going to whip your gun out next to a cash register and get shot you might as well be robbing the place.

Watch: Brave Pizza Shop Owner Almost Shot as He Fought Off Armed Robber in His Store

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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