A South Carolina woman who infamously drowned her two young sons has not taken to life in prison well, reports say.
Susan Smith, now 46, lied in 1994 when she said an African-American man stole her car while her young sons were inside. Police eventually figured out that this was a complete fabrication and Smith confessed to watching her car roll into a lake, drowning her 14-month-old son, Alex, and 3-year-old son, Michael.
Fast forward to 2015 and Smith still said that she “loved [her] boys” and said in a letter from prison that the thing that hurts her the most is that “people think I hurt my children in order to be with a man. That is so far from the truth.”
Now in 2017, it has been revealed by PEOPLE that Smith has lived a life of sex, drugs and self-harm in prison.
According to the magazine, Smith has been disciplined several times in the last few years for self-mutilation and possession of narcotics or marijuana, losing privileges — including access to visitors, phone calls or the prison canteen — at times, for more than year as a result.
While the nature of the self-harm is not specified, we also know that Smith has twice been involved sexually with prison employees. One of those was a guard and the other was a captain. When Smith was 28 in 2000, she had sex four times with a guard named Houston Cagle, who was 50. For that, he was jailed for three months. But Cagle wasn’t the only one, as just one year later, prison captain Alfred Rowe pleaded guilty to having sex with Smith and got off with five years of probation.
As recently as two years ago, Smith felt compelled to tell a reporter that “[She is] not the monster society thinks I am. I am far from it” and claimed that “Something went very wrong that night. I was not myself.”
“I was a good mother and I loved my boys. There was no motive as it was not even a planned event. I was not in my right mind,” she said.