The numbers are elusive, yet we know Mickey Mouse receives thousands of votes for president every time. Possibly tens of thousands. Exact tallies are hard to come by because election workers are annoyed by protest votes and many state legislatures share their indignation.
To vote for a real candidate for president, even a no-hope, third party candidate like Ralph Nader, Michael Badnarik or Cynthia McKinney, is one thing. But to vote for Steamboat Willie? That’s seen as a serious insult to our democratic process.
Nothing against those folks who vote for the Disney frontmouse, but I’ll keep on writing in Bob Lott for the foreseeable future. My Dad is the furthest thing from a politician, so he gets perturbed every four years when his firstborn son again publicly endorses him for president.
In 2012, I pledged to have signs made up that said “Bob Lott! Why Not!” and put them up all over our small town of Lynden, Washington.
In a show of Shermanesque rejection, Dad informed me that if nominated he would not run; if elected he would not serve; and if those signs suddenly sprung up he would uproot them and find a more appropriate, and painful, use for them.
That’s exactly the kind of rugged independence that we need from our elected leaders but will likely never get. The American political system has many good things going for it, yet it encourages some of the worst tendencies in our representatives. These vices bubble up to the top.
As a result, we get presidents who combine soaring rhetoric with a sticky status quo, pseudo policy wonkery with poll-tested blandness, bombs with butter, Big Government with Big Business.
We go from Hillarycare to Medicare Part D to Romneycare to Obamacare. From Bush to Clinton to Bush to Obama to Clinton to Bush – or perhaps from Obama to Bush to Clinton to spice things up. It’s the eternal recurrence of the lame.
I look at all of that and say, “No thanks,” if one need edit. For the last two presidential contests, I’ve voted for Bob Lott and have not yet begun to waste my vote.
America could use a whole lot more of Bob Lott. We’ll probably never get someone like Dad in the Oval Office, but perhaps scientists could clone him and the Air Force could parachute a half a million or so copies of Dad into every town, city and municipality in the country.
This Dad drop would be far more effective than any serious stimulus the government could concoct. Bob Lott is a natural entrepreneur in whatever he pursues, from pastoring to coaching to worming to bookselling.
Dad is a one man job-creation engine, always hooking friends and parishioners up with work. He’s enthusiastic and tireless and good humored. He has one million ideas, some of them good.
You want to get the unemployment rate down, to talk people back from the ledge, or to put together the winningest softball season ever. Just send in your Bob Lott!
It’s a fun dream and of course an impossible one. But on this fine Father’s Day, let me just say: America, you don’t know what you’re missing.