Two men struck up an unlikely friendship in which love and forgiveness trump mistakes.
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Matthew, a firefighter and EMT, had just gotten off a busy 24-hour shift only to fall asleep at the wheel on his way home and collide with an ongoing vehicle carrying a mother, her 19-month-old daughter and an unborn son.
“I drove home and I didn’t really feel the need that I needed to pull over,” said the emergency responder. “So, about two miles from my house, I ended up falling asleep at the wheel and crossing the center line and hitting an oncoming car head on.”
Erik, a longtime youth pastor and husband to the injured woman, rushed to the hospital where a doctor briefed him on the tragic news.
“Almost immediately, the EMTs did everything that they could on the way to the hospital to try to do aggressive CPR and keep her going but, when they got to the hospital, they pronounced her dead,” said Erik.
His wife had sustained severe head trauma and abdominal injuries, which caused her to go into cardiac arrest. The unborn son died along with its mother. As for their 17-month-old daughter, Faith, she came out of the crash unscathed.
The news was difficult to bear.
“Hearing the news, just trying process it — not only did I lose my wife and my best friend, but I also lost a son,” said Erik.
The crash nearly decimated the youth pastor.
“So, here I was. I’d just had the worst day of my life … And I remember a sermon that I’d heard years ago just came back to my mind and it was talking about how there’s a bigger picture going on … and we lose sight of the fact that God is doing bigger things; his story is bigger than just ours — that he paints on a canvas the size of the universe,” said Erik.
Who, in that moment, said he experienced a pivotal moment in his grief process.
“It was a turning point; I think it saved my life because, if I was left to my own devices, my own ability to figure things out, I probably would’ve just crawled under my bed and just hid,” he said.
Matthew, who had before carried a clean record and grown up in a solid home, was then experiencing the greatest internal struggle of his life — a load Matthew would soon lighten.
An ongoing investigation for nearly two years kept the men from talking to each other but, when Matthew received a call from the solicitor general asking whether Matthew wanted to seek the full penalty for Erik’s crime, the grieving father chose the lesser of the two punishments.
“I remember thinking that this would be a wonderful opportunity for God to get glory … it’s not going to bring June back, and certainly [Matthew] struggles every day just trying to think through what happened. So, I just decided to opt for the lesser charge as an opportunity, again, to demonstrate God’s forgiveness and God’s love,” said Erik.
A day before the two-year anniversary of the crash, the two men found themselves in the same store. Tears streaming down his face, Erik hugged Matthew and the two shared what God had taught them throughout the ordeal, said Matthew.
And, while Erik says he wishes his friendship with Matthew had happened under different circumstances, the two to this day remain confidantes.
“Matthew and I have a great friendship. He’s just a great guy. We get together and talk about what God’s doing in our lives, what’s going on at work, what’s going on at home — just everything about life we share together. ”
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