Leo Gillick
Choosing to run an ultramarathon is already pretty weird, but deciding to combine it with Taco Bell somehow makes it even more odd.
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For those among us whose masochism isn’t sated by running the 26.2 miles of a traditional marathon, there exists the ultramarathon. This is, by definition, anything longer than the usual distance. However, it’s typically much longer, with the furthest topping 3,100 miles over seven and a half weeks. They’re reserved for the insane and obscene.
Taco Bell Laps: The Taco Bell ultramarathon isn’t that far, though. Not by a long shot. But it does have its own little twist. At 50 miles, it’s already a slog, but the food chain has added an extra challenge. The ultramarathon involves eating Taco Bell all the way around. There are rules to the puke-inducing race.
- Eat a menu item from at least 9 of the 10 Taco Bell stops.
- By the 4th stop, all entrants must have consumed at least one Chalupa Supreme or one Crunchwrap Supreme.
- By the 8th stop, all entrants must have consumed at least one Burrito Supreme or one Nachos Bell Grande.
- Finish under 11 hours.
- No on-course Pepto, Alka Seltzer, Pepcid A/C, or Mylanta will be allowed.
The rules are strict, insane, and tailored to exactly the kind of person interested in running an ultramarathon. It will take place in Denver, Colorado, in early October.
Spice it Up
Running an ultramarathon will always require on-track sustenance. Most people opt for liquids loaded with proteins and electrolytes. Gels are also typically consumed by runners to keep energy levels up and tummies feeling full. Taco Bell isn’t on anyone’s preferred list of ultramarathon foods.
- I have absolutely no doubt that, as people pace out their 50 miles, many of them will puke. They say to never exercise on a full stomach, and plenty of people are about to find out why. 9 Taco Bell meals would be a lot for someone sitting down, let alone running for hours. I hate to think what the course will look like afterward.
For anyone who feels the Taco Bell ultramarathon isn’t fun enough, there are some extra optional rules.
- Diablo Challenge – lather all items with Diablo sauce and do a Diablo shooter at the end.
- Baja Blast Challenge – drink an aggregate of 2 Liters of Baja Blast during the run without vomiting.
When did we stray so far from god?
