Rare News Desk
Twitchy, the Twitter aggregation site, brought to light the newest bit of swag from the “Hillary for President because she’s earned it/because she’s a woman/because white men suck/because it’s her time/because white men suck/ because did we say that twice/because yes but it bears repeating/because vaginas!” crowd: the Hillary Clinton “Look At My Accomplishments” mug.
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Twitchy named it the “participation ribbon” mug. And rightfully so, as the list of her “accomplishments” aren’t so much accomplishments as activities she’s participated in.
The list reads:
- wife
- mom
- lawyer
- women and kids advocate
- FLOAR (First Lady of Arkansas)
- FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States)
- US Senator
- Secretary of State
- author
- dog owner
- hair icon
- pantsuit aficionado
- glass ceiling cracker
Clearly, being a wife and mother is something to be proud of, and being a good wife and mother is an actual accomplishment. But the rest of the list reads like a who’s who are you kidding?
As a lawyer, she was kicked off the Nixon-Watergate investigation for unethical behavior. Her work at the “prestigious” Rose Law Firm in Arkansas involved the Whitewater scandal – an Arkansas land deal that saw the Clinton’s walk free from a litany of dubious dealings (and saw one of their friends go to jail and Vince Foster commit suicide while Bill Clinton was president.)
As First Lady of the United States, she mucked up health care so bad that it took 20 years for someone to do it worse. Luckily, her failures didn’t stick…we’re not so lucky with President Obama. After that, the “2 for 1” the Clinton’s claimed America got with Bill and Hillary came to an end. If only that had continued.
As US Senator – of New York, not Arkansas – she is not responsible for a single piece of legislation you have ever heard of, good or bad. The highlight of her Senate career – based her own Wikipedia page – is how, “…she called for the Federal Trade Commission to investigate how hidden sex scenes showed up in the controversial video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” How wonderfully puritanical of her!
As Secretary of State, she hit the reset button with Russia, which set America back in fighting against totalitarianism (now fighting it abroad and at home.) She’s credited with traveling more than any other Secretary of State. But who can blame her? She didn’t want to be around the guy who beat her in the presidential race, and who wants to go home to Bill?
Iran is a bigger threat than ever. Russia and China thumb their nose at us daily. The Middle East is in worse shape than ever before. Her turn at State was a total failure.
Author? So was Ted Kaczynski. (No, I’m not comparing Hillary Clinton to Ted Kaczynski.)
Dog owner? So was Michael Vick. (No, I’m not comparing Hillary Clinton to Michael Vick.)
Hair Icon? What is she, Fabio?
Pantsuit Aficionado? Is this a presidential qualification? Knowing the difference between straight polyester and a poly-blend?
Glass Ceiling Cracker – This is false on its face. Hillary Clinton never cracked a glass ceiling. She is where she is based on who she married and how well they did in creating an incredible, impressive (though misguided) political machine. On her own, she got fired from the Watergate prosecution.
(And I didn’t even mention lying about taking sniper-fire in Bosnia!)
But it’s the final word on the list of “participation” that takes the cake. It reads, “TBD;” As if, she has one more job left in her.
Let’s hope, for all of our sakes, that job is “private citizen, fading away into obscurity.”
