Rare News Desk
If you’re like me, you were pretty fed up with Kim Kardashians attempt to cash in on the celebrity nude craze from day one. She thought she’d bear it all and #BreakTheInternet, and for the next couple days the only thing streaming across my Twitter and Facebooks feeds was her oiled up rump. It didn’t break the internet, but I almost broke my computer.
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Meanwhile, there was some seriously unbelievable stuff happening on planet Earth (and off it) that I feel got overshadowed by something that makes the Death Star feel inadequate.
5. Your Money “Escapes to Diab”
$10 million of your tax money went into making a video game to promote a healthier diet to curb the obesity epidemic in this country called “Escape from Diab.” I’m 95 percent Diab is short from diabetes, and 100% sure this is a ridiculous name. Completely ignoring studies that video games cannot instill a set of standards into you, our government once again flushed tons of money down the toilet in an attempt to push an agenda only Michelle Obama seems to care about.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbGHJYSaoXM]
4. “We go to Ollie Williams for the forecast. Ollie?”
IT’S COLD OUTSIDE! You’ve probably noticed by now that it is unseasonably cold all over the country, most likely due to global warm-I mean climate change…it is climate change now right? The phrase hasn’t changed again?….ok. Anyway, Even in the south the temperature has suddenly dropped to surprisingly low levels. Here in Texas it’s 41 degrees. As a guy constantly boiling from the Texas heat, I can’t complain, but to people up north? Well, I’m glad I live in Texas.
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3. Heebie Jeebus
Two very unlucky window washers on the World Trade Center were lucky enough to survive a cable snapping from their platform as they were doing their job, causing them to dangle 68 stories for an hour and a half. Fire fighters eventually smashed one of the windows and were able to bring them into the building. Even if you aren’t afraid of heights, this would be terrifying. These brave dudes have plans to get back at it regardless.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1IsgYAfNEc]
2. The Obamacare Architect Thinks You’re An Idiot and Apparently So Does Pelosi
Jonathan Gruber was caught on tape bragging about how law makers had used the “stupidity” of the American voter to get Obamacare passed. He tried to say that he misspoke, but then video after video of it continued to come out of him being a complete douchebag about people’s concerns about the ACA. If that wasn’t bad enough, Pelosi herself tried to pass off like she had never heard of him. Lo and behold, proof surfaced that she in fact did know him. She was caught having referenced the man multiple times. Lies and damned lies.
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Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com
1. The Thing That Actually Broke the Internet
The real important massive object we should be focusing on was a comet that scientists managed to put a probe on. In a historical moment we made contact with a giant rock some 310 million miles from Earth. It’s a moment that makes you remember that humanity is capable of some really amazing things.
The icing on the cake? Kim K’s bulbous behind was eclipsed by the event as indicated by this handy WSJ graph. Thanks science!
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