Rare News Desk
After reading Jesse Meyerson’s Salon essay last week telling us why communism isn’t all that bad (“Why you’re wrong about communism: 7 huge misconceptions about it”), I immediately ran into my privately-owned kitchen, filled up the sink with non-toxic tap water and gave my still-living dogs a bath.
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Why? Because that’s more than any citizen living in communist-era Russia could ever dream of doing.
I also did this in honor of the 2014 Winter Olympics that would be on TV later that night.
Unfortunately for Meyerson, his column now syncs perfectly with the ever-increasing horror stories emerging about the deplorable conditions in the formerly communist city of Sochi. Meyerson says communism and its legacy aren’t as bad as some make out. Sochi’s day-to-day existence says otherwise.
Meyerson defends the claim, “Only communist economies rely on state violence.” Beneath the subtitle, Meyerson explains that, “Communism necessarily distributes property universally.”
Universally filled with trash and poor living conditions, that is. Unless, of course, you’re Russia’s president and can build a $400 million amusement park the locals call “Putin World.”
Meyerson attempts to pick apart the claim that “Communism killed 110 million people for resisting dispossession.”
Today, Putin may not be killing quite this many people, but just in time for the Olympics he has put a hit out on our furry friends. In order to “clean” up the city in preparation for the games, stray dogs wandering the streets of Sochi have been cruelly killed, sometimes using poison-laced meat traps.
As part of his claim that renewed communism probably wouldn’t be as bad as what’s happened in Russia or China, Meyerson argues, “Given the technological, material, and social advances of the last century, we could expect an approach to communism beginning here and now to be far more open, humane, democratic, participatory and egalitarian…”
He’s right. There have been many technological advances. So much so that when the fifth Olympic ring mistakenly didn’t light during the opening ceremonies in Sochi, Russian state television aired doctored footage of the event, showing the fifth ring working properly.
This way, the Russian people wouldn’t lose faith in their Motherland. I guess this could even be considered “egalitarian,” depending on how many government agents are listening.
If any Russians aren’t watching the games, Putin’s government wants to make sure they will–through sexual arousal. In order to boost morale and support during the Olympics, Team Russia has released scandalous photos of its female athletes.
This, of course, supports Meyerson’s claim that communism supports equality. He states, “Apparently, lots of people are unable to distinguish equality from homogeneity.”
Yes, because using females’ bodies as a marketing technique in order to push nationalism is equality.
I mean, it’s great workout inspiration, but that looks to me a bit more like desperate, cover-up propaganda than equal rights.
Meyerson’s last argument is that capitalism simply doesn’t foster individuality like communism does—because murdering homosexuals and enforcing anti-gay legislation just screams love, acceptance, and happy rainbows.
For his support of communism, I think Putin owes Meyerson a free night’s stay in a Sochi hotel room. He can explore the beautiful city, watch a few Olympic games and maybe even kill a dog.
Then he can tell us first-hand how communism’s critics have it all wrong.
