First item on post-State of the Union agenda for White House: Deporting Justin Bieber

Associated Press

The White House is headed into its sixth year with a plaguing request from more than 100,000 Americans: Deport Justin Bieber.

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Beliebers all over the nation are coming to terms with Justin’s recent criminal activity (arrested while “drag racing” in a neighborhood under an expired license, DUI and resisting-arrest charges).

Non-Beliebers are not as sympathetic to the behavior. One brave leader took to the White House petition website to orchestrate a full-on “Deport Justin” campaign.

More than 102,000 people have signed on, begging the government to send Justin back to his homeland.

Deport Justin Bieber and revoke his green card.

We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.

It’s weird to think of an America without Justin’s presence. We have certainly become accustomed to seeing him zip around our streets from coast to coast. He has definitely left his mark on America (and skid marks, too).

It’s hard not to forget that the international teenage pop star is actually a Canadian citizen and American alien. That can be a hard fact to remember when we are used to seeing him cruise around Florida in a Lamborghini like he’s Flo-Rida and ride around L.A. on a Segway with on-again off-again ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez.

Soon enough it could be Canada dealing with his shenanigans. Sorry northern neighbors, we can no longer “stand on guard for the Biebs.”

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