A prominent national paper got called out today when their otherwise-informative slideshow went off the rails at the suggestion that rifle owners were outfitting their weapons with a “chainsaw bayonet.”
After introducing the rifle’s base model — a semiautomatic AR-15 style rifle firing standard 5.56mm rounds — they show off various aftermarket modifications available for the rifle, “some common, some rare.” They ran the gamut from larger magazines to trigger cranks and an underbarrel 12 gauge shotgun.
Then it took a turn to the ridiculous (or the very useful, for the zombie hunters and landscapers out there), as USA Today also showed off the definitely-rare “chainsaw bayonet.”
People watching the video quickly saw it for what it was.
Some of them added “accessories” of their own, including Corgis and selfie sticks.
On the rifle he posted on Facebook before the shooting — several weapons were found in his truck — USA Today points out that shooter Devin Kelley probably had a red dot sight, a flashlight, a strap, a foregrip and an extended magazine of some sort. At this time, it’s not been reported anywhere that he used a chainsaw bayonet. USA Today was forced to to clarify that in a subsequent tweet, of course, having failed to adequately do so in their own video.
None of this means that a chainsaw bayonet is out of reach, however. If you own an AR-15 and further interpret the Second Amendment to include a chainsaw bayonet, it’ll set you back about $1000 from Panacea X, a company “primarily [founded] to bring the Zombie X Chainsaw to market.” (Their words, not ours.)
They have an entire line of “weaponized chainsaws,” according to the Washington Examiner. The American-made weapons are available in several colors and mount “to any rifle with a Military Standard rail” at a weight of 5lbs 8oz.
Though the holidays are coming, it’s not clear if gift wrapping is available.