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father son chainsaw

In what can fittingly be described as “The Duel of the Century” a father and son in Bristol, Tennessee squared off against each other, the father armed with a chainsaw, the son with a lawnmower.

According to authorities, the father, 76-year-old Douglas Ferguson, charged at his son wielding a chainsaw while his son mowed the lawn. From there the details are murky, but when the police arrived they found the elder Ferguson bleeding from the leg and the head. Apparently Ferguson’s son dodged his father’s initial chainsaw attack and was somehow able to pin his dad underneath the lawnmower.

Ferguson’s leg injury was so bad that his leg ultimately had to be amputated. Detectives said the father and son had been in the midst of an ongoing feud that, despite the fact that one of the participants is now without a leg, one can reasonably assume probably still isn’t over based on the sheer dedication and hatred it takes to have an actual fight using a lawnmower and chainsaw.

There’s no way of knowing what this feud is about but here’s a few guesses based solely on how absurdly redneck the details of this story are:

  • The father and son had a bet on a NASCAR race that the son lost and did not honor.
  • The son had sex with a Denny’s waitress that he knew his father had a crush on.
  • The father thought the son took his coupon booklet but really he just misplaced it.
  • The father secretly thinks his son is the milkman’s kid and can’t stand looking at him anymore.
  • The son kept saying he didn’t think his dad’s chainsaw was “that cool.”
  • The father has dementia and thinks his son is a ghost who won’t stop using his bathroom and mowing his lawn.
  • The father is extremely possessive of his lawnmower.

Watch: Sleep and Eat BBQ at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Gas Station

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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