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To nobody’s surprise, the Obamacare sign up numbers were abysmal. Fewer than 27,000┬ácitizens were able to successfully sign up on the oft plagued website. The country was promised that millions of Americans would be able to access healthcare–that did not happen. Here are some examples of some things that Obamacare actually did better than.

The Goonies DVD Sales – 30 years later

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The 1985 film “The Goonies” is a childhood classic for people of all ages. The adventure-comedy film tells the story of a group of children and their hunt for the lost treasure of an old pirate. Though it is almost 30 years old, the film is still popular today. Unfortunately for the family classic, Obamacare is just a little more popular. Last week, less than 20,000 people decided they really needed to own the film on DVD. Good Job Obamacare! More people were able to successfully sign up for your costly healthcare initiative than bought a Cory Haim movie, easily found in the discount bin at Walmart.

This Miami Marlins Game

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The first week of any baseball season is ripe with excitement as fans and players look forward to the upcoming year. Around the league, even the worst of teams can look forward to great attendance for the first few games of the year; not the Miami Marlins. On April 8th 2013, the Miami Marlins lost to the Atlanta Braves on the second home game of the year. A paltry 14,222 people showed up to watch Miami lose. Good job Obamacare! You had more people sign up than saw an April baseball game where the worst team in baseball lost!

Drake at the Verizon Center October 31st 2013

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The Verizon Center in downtown Washington D.C. is the site of many concerts and sporting events. On Halloween,tickets to see hip-hop star Drake were the hottest and most sought after ticket in town. Drake brought his A game to the Center, playing hits like “Started From The Bottom” and “Best I Ever Had.” A sell out at the Verizon Center means that 18, 277 were in attendance. This is a decisive victory for Obamacare! Good job Obamacare! You had way more people sign up than attend a hip hop concert in the nation’s capital!

South Korean Boy Band Album Sales


2PM is a pop group from South Korea. Formed in 2008, the group is known for their hit, debut single “10 out of 10 (Hottest Time of the Day). In 2012 they released a a greatest hits album of their four years as a band. The “Members Compilation” record also came in a limited edition package with a photo book. This bundle was numbered to only 20,000 copies. Good job Obamacare! You were able to sign up more people for health insurance than Korean teenagers could be a greatest hits album!

Giving free cheeseburgers to government workers.


In early October,  the nation held its breath to see who would blink first in the government shutdown battle. Z-Burger, a popular restaurant chain in Washington D.C. felt they should help out the recently disenfranchised federal workers. For two days, the chain gave away free burgers to those with a valid government ID. The promotion ended due overwhelming demand. The chain lost almost 100,000 in merchandise and ended up giving away 15,840 hamburgers. Good job Obamacare! More people can now see a doctor because of your website than were able to eat a greasy burger during the shutdown that you caused!