Sandy Hook: A lesson in mourning

The tragedy in Newtown, Conn. was in many ways a wake-up call reminding Americans of what we already know but aren’t often challenged on.

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It reminded Americans that, as much as we’d like to, we can’t always shelter our children from the blows the world hands us. Sometimes, the best we can do is be, and teach our children to be, the Victoria Sotos and Kyle Carpenters of the world — the teacher and soldier who last year willingly gave their lives to save those around them.

Carpenter gained a national following when in Afghanistan he threw himself on a grenade in an effort to save his best friend and fellow marine Nick Eufrazio — Soto when she got in the way of Adam Lanza.

We’re reminded to teach our children to be the type of people who, in the face of near-paralyzing danger, have the wherewithal to preserve themselves and their friends as they seek the nearest exit.

Sandy Hook reminded us wars aren’t always waged on battlefields or on foreign soil, but that sometimes wars are waged in our own backyards — and sometimes in the minds of those we know and love.

A persistent series of attacks have wounded Americans to the core, reminding us that life is fragile and that not all have good intentions. Forget drones, forget Syria, forget Iran. Today, on the heels of yet another school shooting, Americans are more aware than ever of the battles at home.

But Sandy Hook is different.

The tragedy at Sandy Hook is unlike any other American tragedy of the past decade in that parents were made childless rather than their children made orphans — a blow that strikes twice as hard because the images that play out in the news and on television aren’t of strapping young fathers and successful Wall Street businessmen, but of barely blossomed youth who never experienced all life has to offer. Few know the pang of that truth more intimately than the families of Newtown, Conn.

News outlets nationwide approached the story with caution, showing that even a hungry media can acknowledge the needs of grieving families over the curiosity of millions of bewildered Americans. One news station chose to only interview a young Sandy Hook student with parents present, while numerous other news outlets opted to respect the wishes of Newtown families who would rather the media not put boots on the ground during the 1-year anniversary of the shooting.

And, perhaps most importantly, Newtown residents know that the way to get through their grief isn’t to dwell on their loss but to celebrate the richness of having experienced life with their loved ones.

“In the midst of our grief, we have come to realize that we want our loved ones to be remembered for the lives they lived and how they touched our hearts,” reads the website of the Newtown families.

“We have been uplifted by the support of so many people, and we would like to keep that spirit of unity and love alive in all we do to remember those we so dearly miss.”

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