Aurora Starchild
Robert De Niro is one of the world’s most distinguished actors and producers. He’s known for his systematic dynamism in character development and booming success in films by legends such as Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese. You may have seen De Niro shed a tear or two on the big screen. But nothing quite compares to the drama he’s been through in real life. After his father passed away, the actor released an HBO documentary as well as a book honoring and remembering his life. With that remembrance also came a story about De Niro Sr being gay, and the torment his father felt in not telling the people around him.
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Robert De Niro’s Parents Mother and Father Were Artists
A New York native, De Niro was raised by two artist parents whose works were included in Peggy Guggenheim’s collections. Robert De Niro Sr. and his wife, Virginia Admiral, married in 1942 and welcomed Robert De Niro Jr. on August 17, 1943. Just two years after his birth, his parents separated. They took an entire decade to finalize their divorce. De Niro Jr. was primarily raised by his mother in Manhattan. However his father remained close by, spending his days painting in his studio.
De Niro’s mother and father met at a painting class in Provincetown, Massachusetts — one of the world’s biggest hubs for the LGBTQIA+ community. His father hadn’t come out as gay at the time and in fact, it was his coming out that partly led to his separation from Virginia. Described as a “lapsed Catholic,” he was not actively practicing yet he held a firm belief in his religion. With that, especially in his lifetime, came a clear message that was spread far and wide that it was morally wrong to be gay.
Robert De Niro Jr., despite being close with his parents, was never privy to his father’s sexuality as a child. He received a hint from his mother about it as a young adult, but the family didn’t speak about it very much. After his father passed away in 2013, De Niro Jr. came across his father’s journals. That’s when he realized how deeply afflicted his father was about his sexuality.
He Was Only Slightly Aware That His Father Was Gay Because He Hid His Sexuality
“I was not aware, much, of it,” De Niro told Out Magazine about his father’s struggle with homosexuality. “I wish we had spoken about it much more. My mother didn’t want to talk about things in general, and you’re not interested when you’re a certain age.”
“My mother told me once later, when I was a young adult, sort of inferred. I sort of understood,” wrote De Niro in the book. Robert De Niro, Sr: Paintings, Drawings and Writings: 1942-1993 was published in 2019. It followed the 2016 HBO documentary Remembering The Artist Robert De Niro Sr.
The material in his father’s journals was so heavy that De Niro couldn’t bring himself to read it all. “I’m anxious to read them. I’ll read them when it feels right … but at the moment that’s how I’m dealing with it,” he once told The Observer (via The Guardian). He had, however, read some of it. “It was sad for me to read. He had his demons … I was sorry.”
The Book and Documentary Are The Actor’s Way of “Coming Out” For His Father
In that sense, the documentary and book about his father’s life is De Niro Jr.’s way of “coming out” for him, to honor him.
“I felt I had to. I felt obligated. It was my responsibility to make a documentary about him,” he told Out Magazine.
Some of the excerpts in De Niro Sr.’s journals are indeed heart wrenching. He referred to his homosexuality as a “sickness” that needed to be “cured.”
“If God doesn’t want me to be homosexual (about which I have so much guilt), he will find a woman whom I will love and who will love me. But I really don’t want my homosexuality to be cured,” De Niro Sr. wrote in one passage.
“I am full of fear … of the discomfort caused by my own thoughts, feelings, sensations and impulses,” he wrote. “There is so much I have left out of this journal … My laments, wailings, self-pity and complaining are much greater than I have [indicated] here.”
Robert De Niro Senior’s Memory Lives On
Despite his inner torture, of feeling as though he had somehow sinned and couldn’t express who he truly was, De Niro Sr. continued to focus on his art until his death. Described as a visionary Abstract Expressionist painter, he maintained a studio in SoHo. Many of his paintings were collected and celebrated within the art community of New York. But he never achieved the kind of success that his son did.
After De Niro Sr.’s passing from prostate cancer at age 71, his son contemplated cataloguing his studio and shutting it down. “I videotaped it and had photos taken and documented everything,” De Niro told Out. “But then I said, ‘I just can’t do it.’”
The art studio has since been kept just as it was before De Niro Sr.’s death. De Niro Jr. said he’s doing it not just to honor his dad. He’s doing it for his children’s and grandchildren’s posterity as well.
“I did it for the grandkids and my young kids, who didn’t know their grandfather,” he said. “This space is here, and in 20 years, people won’t know what a real space like this will be unless it was in a museum, and they recreated it.”
De Niro Junior Encourages Honesty and Communication
Robert De Niro is now 79 — older than his father when he left the earth. And he has children and grandchildren of his own. Looking back at his upbringing and considering that he’s had his own try at being a parent, he said he encouraged his kids to reflect on who they are. And he said not to wait to do that.
“For my kids, I want them to stop and take a moment and realize that you sometimes have to do things now instead of later, because later may be 20 years from now — and that’s too late,” he said.
What a shame it is that there are still people who feel guild about their God given nature, instead of enjoying life they engulf themselves in mental torture and isolation, because society is still so judgmental and divisive .
The churches must realize that homosexuality is not a sin. Calling it a sin is criminal. As in the case of Deniro Sr. He lived in guilt because of his religion interpretation of homosexuality.
“You shall not commit adultery”
What does this mean?
“We should fear and love God, so that we lead a chaste and decent life in word and deed, and that husband and wife each love and honor the other.”
Thanks be to God that Jesus the Christ kept this commandment perfect in our stead. Homosexuality IS a SIn.” as all other sexual behaviors which is contrary to His Moral Law. Therefore, we rejoice in God’s “Forgiveness of sins” earned for us on Calvary’s cross. Thus, a repentant homosexual can pray: “Lord be merciful to me a sinner”. And God will pronounce His grace: “You sins forgiven!” All of us, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual have sinned much by our thoughts, words, and deeds,,,yet in faith and repentance we can confess our sins and receive complete forgiveness by God’s grace. THANKS BE TO GOD!!!