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Farmer's Almanac Hot Summer 2019

This winter was cold and snowy and generally a miserable, freezing, and teeth-chattering mess. So maybe summer will be mild and pleasant after all those snow showers and mornings you woke up feeling like you lived in Canada? That should be the logical long-range forecast pattern, right? LOLOLOLOLOL nope. Get ready to live in a thunder swamp for the next couple of months because The Farmer’s Almanac is predicting big storms, rain, humidity, and heat.

The summer forecast from The Farmer’s Almanac is… not great. Its weather predictions call for hot conditions, lots of storms, and just a withering summer in general. Which is a nice continuation of last year’s summer, which was the fourth hottest period on record in the United States. Here’s the weather forecast for every region of the country. Most of them will have you begging for a winter storm by late June.

You can read the full report from the Farmer’s Almanac here.

2019-us-farmers-almanac-map-summer-1556207189

New England, the Mid-Atlantic, and the Northeast

Rain. So much rain. And thunderstorms. From Maine to Virginia. Though to be fair when it’s not raining it will be… humid. Stay inside and pray for autumn to come if you live on the east coast.

The Southeast

The map literally says sweltering so prepare for a brutal summer. Your only respite from the sun cooking the life out of you is the above-normal precipitation and massive thunderstorms. And hey, who knows, maybe a big, fat, mean hurricane if you live in Florida or the Carolinas.

The Midwest

The Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a “devastating tornado threat” for the Midwest. Time to start reinforcing your basement’s ceiling. And maybe dig that bad boy a few feet deeper while you’re at it. When God isn’t using the Midwest as a punching bag it will be, you guessed it, really hot.

The Southwest

California, Arizona, Nevada, and Utah will be relieved to hear that the precipitation will be average at worst this year. On the other hand, everyone there will probably be begging for rain because this is supposed to be the hottest part of the entire country this summer.

The Great Lakes and Ohio Valley

Normal temperatures and rainy. Congratulations Great Lakes region, you’re pretty much the only place not getting murdered by nature this summer.

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The Pacific Northwest

Dry with average temperatures. Boring. Maybe an earthquake will get tossed in there to mix things up.

Watch: Farmer’s Almanac Predicts A Cold, Snowy Winter

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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