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Kleenex Mansize Kleenex

After 60 years Kleenex has decided to rebrand their “Mansize” tissues as “Extra Large” under the pressure of consistent outcry on social media about the name’s purported sexism. And you know what? Good.

How dare you, Kleenex. How dare you assume that a woman’s body can’t produce just as much waste as a man’s. How dare you assume that women’s bodies aren’t capable of leaking and seeping the same amount of fluids that man’s body does. You’ve got a lot of nerve perpetuating the myth that women don’t also use tissues to clean up after masturbating on their living room sofa on a Sunday afternoon while porno is still playing on their laptop and the football game on TV is muted, before throwing those tissues in the empty pizza box on the coffee table and throwing it all away together. Shame. SHAME!

In all seriousness, whatever. Mansize is neither offensive nor a good product name. It’s absolutely not worth it for Kleenex to dig in and fight this one out. The name of large tissues isn’t where anyone wants the line in the sand to be drawn. This isn’t where the gender war needs to start, though considering the usefulness of the conflict it’d be fitting to have some random Gavrilo Princip shit start it.

It’s still funny, though, that anyone would bother taking even five seconds out of their day to get upset over the name Mansize. It’d be one thing if the corresponding tagline to Kleenex’s Mansize tissues was, “No Bitches Allowed #Repealthe19thAmendment.”

As it stands, Mansize is just lame branding. (Also hilariously dumb. “Kleenex Mansize: The only tissues on the market capable of handling your big strong discharges.”) It’s the type of thing that I, a man, would roll my eyes at if I spotted it in the store. (Though somehow I’ve never encountered this particular type of tissue despite its apparent six-decade existence.)

But yeah, hooray for fixing this, um… problem?

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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