Matt McBride
Hey, Adventure Fans! Are you looking for vacation bragging rights, but you’re tired of those same old catastrophic hull collapses that’s like a fully-loaded Chevy Suburban crashing into every square inch of your body at Mach 2 while you’re being vaporized in what’s basically become a giant diesel engine?! Do you have $450,000 burning a hole in your pocket but you don’t have room for another pair of his-and-hers Ferraris?
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Well, you’re in luck, because starting this August, Virgin Galactic is now offering commercial spaceflights!
Yes, for the low, low price of about a half-million dollars (or $250,000 if you choose Economy Class seating, which we assume are the two seats directly behind the front two First Class seats), you can brag to your friends about how you hopped onboard Virgin Galactic’s new commercial low-orbit space flight service for a 90-minute trip around Upper New Mexico – and returned to brag to your friends about it!
And even better – Virgin Galactic’s VSS Unity was not built in a Newark shed on credit from Hardware stores (unlike some deep sea vessels being marketed in the recent past)!
VSS Unity has even been certified for space flight by the United States Government, whose space flight experience includes handsome, daring, and muscularly robust test pilots and astronauts who broke the bounds of air and sound and Earth and lived to tell the tale, if only to usually die from sexual exhaustion afterwards. (Note: the US Government has also claimed to have landed on the Moon, although this is disputed by internet fact checkers.)
Virgin Galactic even offers in-flight entertainment, including not losing your lunch while you float around the cabin trying not to think about becoming an internet meme after what happened to your billionaire buddies in that sub.
But you better act quick to reserve your place, because the first 800 seats have already been taken!
