Are you lonely? Have you ever wanted to spice up your life just a tad? Get a little adventurous and try something new? If the answer is yes, then I think it’s time to buy some Willy Chillies. The “chillies” that will satisfy all your needs…your garden needs, that is.
Firebox, a very unusual and humorous site, sells just what you are looking for. Just a casual kit that lets you ‘Grow a Dick.’ Or in other words, a plant of very odd-looking red chili peppers that only cost you $12.99. Yes, you guessed it, this tiny planter box comes with capsicum annuum seeds (also known as phallic chilies) that are “growers, not showers” and bloom in the shape of a penis.
Don’t you just love that this exists? I mean, who woke up and thought, “Today is the day. I am growing a plant in the shape of a penis. I am going to make some tasty hot sauce using hot peppers shaped like a human organ.” Yeah, that’s exactly what that person though, and I am starting to believe he or she has too much time on their hands.
Still, if you are interested in these kinds of unusual but actually awesome chilis, all you have to do is add some water and they’ll sprout out within 12 to 18 days. Just in time to spice things up in the kitchen with your new sexy stir fry recipe. What do you have to do to make sure these bad boys grow up healthy and strong? According to the instructions, you just place the penis pepper pot in a bright warm location, and then water occasionally to keep the soil moist. Then, voila, your penis plants are good to go.
So where can you get these penis seeds? Well, you can buy these little suckers on Firebox.com, but due to their popularity, they might sell out soon so you might want to hurry.
But, as always, here at RARE we have you covered. After searching online for where to buy these hilarious seeds, I found out that our favorite website, Amazon, is selling their own version of ‘Peter Pepper Penis Chili Seeds’ for only $4.45! Yes, I told you Amazon is the best place on earth. Basically, all you have to do is grab your favorite pot, plant them with your other peppers, and you’re set.
So yeah, happy penis planting and all that. Forget about jalapeno peppers or Tabasco sauce, these ‘Willy Chillies’ are all you need to have a good night meal. Go ahead and add some heat and some humor into your life this summer. We’re not judging, I already ordered 2 packs. Sorry, not sorry.
This article was originally published on May 17, 2019.