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Googly Eye Fish Facebook

Is there any product worse to buy from a sketchy salesman than fish? Drugs probably. Whatever supersedes fish, the list is short, because when you buy bad fish — especially fish that looks as bad as this — you are guaranteed to experience a gastrointestinal horror show.

A Kuwaiti fish market was recently busted by, ironically, a customer with a good eye, for gluing googly eyes onto its fish in order to make them seem fresher and not look like the rotting ocean garbage they actually were. The customer filmed the fish and outed the market on Facebook.

Not a great look. Literally. This looks absolutely foul. No word on what happened to the people running the market but… probably nothing? I have no idea how strictly Kuwait enforces its health codes, if it has some sort of better business bureau, etc.

Look, Kuwaiti fish merchant who is definitely not reading this, sometimes you just have to take the loss, okay? What happened with your googly eye plan? It didn’t work, you got caught, and now not only are the fish a loss but the googly eyes are a sunk cost too. I admire your capitalistic drive to make a buck — it’s commendable — but this is a bit much. And what was going to happen once you sold the googly-eyed fish? This seems poorly thought out. It was a panicked plan.

Next time what you do is this: take your rotten fish, toss them in an immersion blender and just blast the absolute hell out of them until they’re straight up liquid. Then you pour your fish smoothie into an ice cube tray, freeze all of it, and sell the stuff as fancy, gourmet cat treats. Charge out the ass for it. Boom.

That’s how you practice shady profit-driven business like a good capitalist. You’re welcome.

Watch: 7 CREEPY FISH FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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