Aurora Starchild
A guy in France just caused an entire hospital to evacuate when a WWI shell got stuck up his butt.
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8-Inch-Long WWI Bomb Was Stuck In a Senior Citizen’s Butt
There’s something about the holiday season that makes people giggity. For some, that means drinking eggnog and kissing under the mistletoe. For others, it means sticking antique explosive devices up their butts. To each their own.
An unnamed senior citizen checked himself into the Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon, France, last Saturday. The 88-year-old had stuck an 8-inch long, 2-inch-wide collectible WWI shell up his butt, most likely because he was aroused. Per the Var-Matin, the man’s arrival sparked an immediate full evacuation of the hospital, as no one knew if the device could detonate.
A Hospital Sainte Musse spokesperson said, “an emergency occurred from 9 pm to 11.30 pm on Saturday that required the intervention of bomb disposal personnel, the evacuation of adult and pediatric emergencies as well as the diversion of incoming emergencies.” They added that the “reactive framework” necessitated taking “all precautions.”
Nevertheless, the man is in “good health” after doctors surgically removed the artillery shell from his butt.
PSA: Sticking Any Explosive Device Up Your Anus Is Bad Idea, Will Cause Hospital to Evacuate
Just yesterday, we reported that the holiday season often sees an uptick in these kinds of masturbation emergencies. UK-based gynecologist Sarah Welsh warns against experimenting with holiday ornaments, or foreign objects of any kind. Items made of glass can break, as can confections. Further, many of these kinds of things pose a risk of infection, or worse, can get stuck and lead to an embarrassing Emergency Room visit.
It goes without saying, however, that it is never a good idea to stick an old bomb up your butt. If it gets stuck, you can almost guarantee that you will put many people’s lives at risk as entire hospitals flee along with their patients.
A man in Gloucestershire inadvertently caused an entire hospital to evacuate last December when a WWII bomb got stuck in his anus. He claimed that he “slipped and fell” when it got stuck up there, though.
Sure, buddy.
