The most normal crime ever committed in Florida was caught on video in downtown Orlando over the weekend. It involved in a man in a full-body bunny suit mercilessly beating a shirtless man. The incident was so overwhelmingly normal, given its location, that police didn’t even bother to charge anyone. And why would they? No one was stabbed, shot, bitten, eaten, injected with a paralyzing agent, run over by an airboat, sexually assaulting an animal, or attempting to perform a human sacrifice.
All that happened was a guy in a bunny suit fought a different guy. Pretty ho-hum.
For what it’s worth, it appears the bunny is not the bad guy here (of course not, he’s the Easter Bunny). He seemed to jump in to save another person who was in a scuffle for reasons unknown. Eventually, the fight was broken up by a nearby bouncer and a bike cop.
Credit to the guy in the bunny suit for being brave enough to walk around Florida dressed up like something a python or alligator or extremely high Floridian would eat without thinking twice about. But that bunny was clearly no man or beast’s prey. He can and did hold his own.
Also, and perhaps most importantly, this entire thing was caught on video by a club promoter who calls himself Workkk. Because, again, of course. If you thought some guy named Steve was involved in this whole thing you clearly haven’t been paying attention to the state. And still, this barely raises an eyebrow.
Florida, man. All you have to do is wander around that state for a day or two and you’re bound to see something absolutely insane. It’s a beautiful place.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published April 22, 2019.